Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome everybody, to Ed and Ken's mini podcast.
Ken, how are you today?
[00:00:07] Speaker B: I'm doing fantastic, Ed. You wouldn't know it, I'm in a new office, but I painted it the exact same color as my old office.
[00:00:14] Speaker A: I love it, man. Looks great.
We're going to bring the passion today, and it's just ironic that the Fourth of July is a few days away and we got a hot topic today, man.
Let's talk, let's talk stories of first generation home ownership.
I know I have a couple stories, I know you have some, but like, let's bring the passion, man. This is.
And thanks for bringing this up because there's just so much juice in what we do that even people in our own industry don't experience it or see it or feel it. And most consumers definitely don't. But let's, let's just rock and roll, man. Let's tell some stories about that in our, in our careers here.
[00:01:11] Speaker B: Well, I'll tell you, it's interesting and I think that, you know, this industry, sometimes people forget, they forget what value they're bringing to, to other people's lives in society.
I said it earlier. We'll. People say, oh, buying your house is the biggest financial decision you'll ever make. And that's probably true. But I also, it's one of the most important decisions you're ever going to make. And you know, I had this, this first generation home buyer and this was probably about a third of my way into my career. I wasn't a brand new loan officer, but I also wasn't where I am today. And it was one of the most moving settlements I had ever been to. And as I sat with this borrower, you know, he was so grateful and so happy to be making this step.
And he shared with me an interesting comment. He said that what you don't understand, Ken, is that the people in my world don't understand this. They think that they don't think about doing stuff like this. In fact, I, I can't even. He said this. I can't even tell my friends I'm doing this because they would try and bring me down. And I thought, how, how, you know, I was like blown back, like really. And it, but the truth of the matter is that, you know, there are a lot of first generation home buyers that are trying to break a, A, a generational cycle. You know, some of them are coming from countries where this was not an option. Right. And some of them are coming from, you know, family backgrounds where this was never discussed, never you know, even, even thought of. And it was just a pretty powerful moment to remind myself and, and, and I remind our listeners, especially the agents and the loan officers out there, the purpose of homeownership.
The benefit of homeownership is responsibility. And I was listening to a really cool podcast friend of ours, Jay Duran, who, you know, interviewed Jordan Peterson at a. An industry event a couple of weeks ago, and he talked about how important responsibility is to purpose. And the folks that are out there without responsibility, without accountability, without homeownership, in a lot of ways, that's that first big responsibility.
They don't have purpose. And you had shared. What was your story? Tell me your story about homeownership, because I think they tie together pretty well.
[00:03:49] Speaker A: Yeah. A couple who were newly sober, newly clean and Sober, in their 40s, late 40s, never owned a house.
And I, the way it happened, was talking after a 12 step meeting, and, and I remember the dude saying, you know, Matt, I'm paying rent all my life. I never see myself buying a house.
And I said, hey, let's, let's just take the first step. Let's see if you qualify. You want to do that? I'll make sure you don't get hurt.
You're not agreeing to anything. Anyway, they ended up buying their first house, settling, like, you know, 45 days later. And I remember them at settlement looking at each other, like, thinking like, it wasn't long ago we were in a crack house together, like, holding on for dear life, trying not to overdose and die.
And now they're clean, they're sober, they had a baby.
[00:04:52] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:04:53] Speaker A: And, and, and they're settling on a house. It was just like. It's those moments, it's like this.
That changes the trajectory of their family tree forever.
Forever. And yes, there's that crab in the bucket theory. I'm sure you've heard that before.
[00:05:12] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:05:12] Speaker A: Right. Pull you back down. Well, these two, they were like, yeah, we're just. Tell us what to do, man. Tell us what to do. We trust you. We know you'll keep us safe.
[00:05:23] Speaker B: And that's what they need. Because if they rely on the people around them, like, you know, there was an old saying. Your best thinking got you here, right? And that's when you're, you know, you're the people that you're coaching and you're working with, like, and they're really, like, locked. They're stuck. And it's because they need that outside perspective. Because if it was just up to them, well, it was up to them. And this is where they're at, right? So now they need you to, to help unblock a lot of things. And it's the same with your, the people you surround yourself with. And this is, this, this extends past your homeownership. It also extends into business as an agent, as a loan officer. Who are you surrounding yourself with? Because in both of these examples of homeownership, neither one of them could rely on the people around them to help facilitate, build them up, even cheer them on. That's not. If you have someone nearby that cheers you on, that should be on the top of your gratitude list every single day. Because not everybody has that right. But we talk, you know, so, so kind of coming into the business side of it, who you surround yourself with matters a lot because of that crab in the bucket. Tell it. Explain the crab in the bucket theory again, because I don't want to gloss over it.
[00:06:46] Speaker A: Yeah, sure. So you've got a bunch of crabs in a bucket, and there's one crab that's like, I want to get out of here. And if it starts crawling up the bucket, the other crabs will grab a hold of it and pull it back down.
They, they want everyone to stay in basically misery.
[00:07:05] Speaker B: If I can't go, you can't go.
[00:07:07] Speaker A: That's it.
And sometimes I heard this explained. It was so great.
He's a Westchester, Pennsylvania guy. Jimmy, Jimmy the Butcher Smith. He was a top income earner in a network marketing company.
[00:07:19] Speaker B: Sounds like a mobster, to be honest.
[00:07:21] Speaker A: Well, he was a butcher. He went from being a butcher to a multimillionaire, you know, with this company, Isagenix. But, and at, at the time, he's pulling in $50,000 a week in income, and he still has family members going like, hey, when are you going to get a real job? Hey, what are you still doing that pyramid thing? Right? And whether you like that kind of industry or not, it's. Besides the one, here's a guy, that Southwest Philly guy that made a decision. The thing is making a decision.
Decide, decide, make the decision.
And change his family tree forever.
Forever. And he said something, I'm on a rant now. He said, eddie, when I was broke, I, I, he goes, when I was broke, I drove a Mercedes.
Now that I'm wealthy, I drive a Honda. It's the nicest Honda.
Isn't that great?
[00:08:31] Speaker B: That is great.
[00:08:32] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:08:32] Speaker B: And a lot of people are like that. I mean, that's a whole, that, that could be a whole show in and of itself. Like, you know, the broke mindset doesn't necessarily. You know, the materialistic mindset, the broke mindset often go hand in hand. People overspend on stupid because of a scarcity perception. Right. They're afraid people are gonna. Are gonna uncover or realize how little they actually have. So they go out there and they. They spend ir. Possibly. Yeah. That's a. That's a whole. That's a. That's a whole topic in and of itself right there. Maybe next week, but. So, so you're a real estate agent. How do you spot. Here's. Here's an important question.
How do you spot the people around you that you need to bring closer? How do you spot someone who's cheering you on? Because everyone has a lot of people have masks. You think that, you think they're your friend. You think they're rooting for you, but really they're like kind of hoping you stumble a little bit. That happens.
How do you. Who do you choose to surround yourself with? I know you got this amazing tribe, but, like, as a real estate agent, if I'm a real estate agent, what are the things I'm looking for for the people I'm going to surround myself with?
[00:09:40] Speaker A: It's very simple. The people that challenge me. So what that looks like is. And it doesn't feel good, by the way.
Like, I don't. It's nice to have people going, great job. Oh, my God, Ed, you inspire me.
I want to be around the people that go, show me your p. L.
Show me your blood work.
Because that's where the truth lies.
Let's go work out together.
Right.
That's. That's who I want to hang out with.
I want to hang out with the Navy seals in life.
And I always say the key to fitness, work out with somebody 30 years younger than you that's fit and just try to keep up with them.
That's it.
That's it.
[00:10:34] Speaker B: Trying to chase a 17 year old up a hill.
[00:10:36] Speaker A: Yeah. More importantly, it is who got to cut out.
And it's.
[00:10:46] Speaker B: It.
[00:10:46] Speaker A: It's not fun, but, man, it's cut out.
[00:10:51] Speaker B: You mean cut out. There's people that you need to identify and you need to cut.
[00:10:56] Speaker A: Disassociate with. And you're. I believe I'm doing them a favor because I just. I actually just did a rant on this Facebook live that real estate, and I'm sure the mortgage business is the same. It's the breeding ground of mediocrity.
[00:11:15] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:11:16] Speaker A: Breeding ground of mediocrity. And what happens is all the crabs get together in the Call center.
And they're all coaching each other, right? I get this all the time. Hey, Ed, this was my rant. I'm thinking of starting a team, and I'm going to partner up with Mary Jo because she's really good. And I like, between the two of you, you didn't sell four homes in the last year. That's not a good idea. In fact, that's the worst idea I ever heard in my life.
Right? But you get all the crabs back in the call center bickering.
Nobody's doing anything, man. That's why, again with what we do, I don't want to hear the stories. Show me your pending settlements. Right, 30, 69. That's. That's the, that's the first.
[00:12:05] Speaker B: Show me your results, then show me your habits. And then that, you know, that's kind of the, the precursor. Like, I want to see. I want to surround myself with, you know, shout out to my boy Fred Lam and my boy Brett Shapiro, who.
And. And Brandon park, who are out there putting up the numbers, right? Putting up the numbers. Good human beings put up the numbers. So that. Because I, I want to say, okay, now, what are your habits? What are areas? What are you. We're. We're at the, we're at the nuance part of our career now, right? And if you, when you get to a certain point now, it's like, I'm. Don't. Don't teach me how to be a loan officer. What's the, what's, what are the minor things I should be tweaking right now to level up? And sometimes when you get to this point, it's just like a professional athlete, right? Like, they're in the, they're in the cage and they're batting and, and, and, and everything.
You know, 99.9% of their swing is the same, but they, they get a little, you know, maybe they loosen their hands up. Like, that's the one small change they make. That's the nuance part of the profession. I think we're, you know, when you, when you, when you surround yourself with experts and with, with solid producers and you can ask, you know, kind of seek out their nuances.
I also think that you should avoid anyone that complains habitually.
That's probably the telltale sign of, of someone who you don't want to be around. And there are some really nice people that bad things happen to, and I don't. It's not lost on me that tragedy exists, but, boy, are there people out there that are looking for reasons to complain.
[00:13:37] Speaker A: You know who I want to hang out with. You've probably heard this story.
I believe it's a true story.
Construction worker falls. Building. A building falls off like, five stories, right? Lands on the ground, breaks everything.
He can barely breathe. He's barely alive. They're rolling him into the operating room, and they say, are you allergic to anything? And with every ounce of energy he says, yeah, Gravity.
[00:14:08] Speaker B: Humility, humor, levity.
[00:14:11] Speaker A: You know, like, bad shit happens to all of us, man.
[00:14:15] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:16] Speaker A: You know, and it. And it's. I, I forget he's a. He's a Navy SEAL guy, crazy long beard. But he said, the day you accept that life isn't easy, everything gets easier.
Everything gets easier. The day you accept that life isn't easy, everything gets easy.
[00:14:35] Speaker B: Sounds like a stomach.
[00:14:37] Speaker A: It's just a game, man. It's like a game. Let's go.
[00:14:41] Speaker B: It is a game. And you know what struggle is? We've. I think we've talked about this. You know, the five human needs.
You know, you need to. You know, somewhere in there. And I don't remember the five off. Stop my head. But I'm sure you remember them. Struggle, right? Like, you need. You need. You need in. In uncertainty. You need conflict. You need, like. And I think that what ends up happening is, you know, because struggle is something that is a human experience, something that we all have to have. Like, even when things are going good, sometimes people go out of the way to find struggle, find things that are wrong, you know, and, and. And the. The best way to. To. To avoid all that, obviously, is get into that. That place of gratitude.
And when people are complaining, you know, you tell. You tell how to separate yourself from someone if they're complaining and you try and show them something to be grateful for and they actually get annoyed with you. That's a telltale sign they. That maybe that's somebody you want to distance yourself from.
[00:15:41] Speaker A: Yeah. I think, in fact, I might post this on so I know who to unfriend.
If I were to ask someone what news station they listen to and they give me any answer, any answer, any answer, I'm like, we're done. Like, that's such a waste of time and energy.
[00:15:59] Speaker B: And like, so if you don't watch the news, Ed, how do you know what's going on in New York?
[00:16:04] Speaker A: I don't want to know.
I don't want to know.
[00:16:08] Speaker B: I don't want to know either.
[00:16:09] Speaker A: We gotta leave that how I know. Because the lunatic friends that are in the bottom of the crab bucket. Yes, send me 5,000 direct messages a day. Did you see this? You have to read this. You have. Did you hear what he.
[00:16:25] Speaker B: She.
[00:16:25] Speaker A: They said?
It's like, yeah, I gotta. I gotta close a couple deals, recruit a couple agents, get a couple mortgages. Then I. Then I gotta go to the beach and hopefully hang out with somebody, preferably a female in a bikini. That's my. That's what I want to do. That's my news station of the day. Right? I don't.
Who used to say it? One of the gurus. Oh, what, Jim, was it? Jim Rohn.
Believe me, if it gets bad enough, you'll see it coming.
[00:16:57] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. My Dave Stinson, one of my first referral partners in the business, he still. He's. He's got to be. I'm not gonna. He's. He's. He's been around a while. Let's put. That guy still puts a suit and tie on every day. Mad respect. He's an og. I love that guy. And his. You know, we would talk and we would have lunch, and then, yeah, his. His. My favorite line of hand was always Kenny Boyd. Doesn't matter. I gotta get up for work tomorrow. And it was like, yeah, you're right. It doesn't matter. Philly's lost it. I gotta get up for work tomorrow.
Like, the world's coming to an end. Well, if the world's coming to an end, you don't have to get up to work tomorrow. Then everything changes.
[00:17:37] Speaker A: I had to wear a bulletproof vest for about two weeks a few years ago when the Eagles lost.
Who did they lose in the Super Bowl?
[00:17:45] Speaker B: The Chiefs.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: The Chiefs.
So that was on a Sunday?
On a Wednesday, I posted, if you are still sulking because the Eagles lost the super bowl, you need to get a life.
You know, I've never had my life threatened so much.
[00:18:03] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, you touched it. You touched the nerve there, I bet.
[00:18:06] Speaker A: Do you think those guys are going like, oh, wow.
They're just like, yeah, I just cashed another 10 million dollar check because they lost the Super Bowl. Anyway, that's just my thoughts. That's my thing. Live at the highest level. Go help someone.
Be grateful for what we have, man. Turn off the news and all of the videos that are telling you how bad things are.
We got it made here, man. We got it.
[00:18:34] Speaker B: And go out and remind yourselves, as agents, as loan officers, you are the facilitator of homeownership, a fundamental component and stepping stone to freedom, which, by the way, we're going to finish with our task. Enjoy your 4th of July, enjoy Independence Day, and hopefully have some.
Someone to hang out with on the beach. Let's put it that way.
[00:19:01] Speaker A: I know I'll be there.
[00:19:03] Speaker B: All right, we'll catch up next week.
