Episode Transcript
[00:00:01] Speaker A: Hey, everyone. Welcome to Ed and Ken's mini podcast. Welcome to all you real estate agents out there, all your loan officers, anyone else who's bored enough to hang out with us for just a few minutes each week as we bring power, wisdom, knowledge, fun, excitement, humor.
Whatever we got. Whatever we got, we're bringing in every single week. And today is no different edition today. First of all, how are you?
[00:00:28] Speaker B: I'm doing great, brother. Like, really great. Yeah, as always.
[00:00:32] Speaker A: As always. How could you not be doing great when you're in the sunny state of Florida? We're up here, it's miserable rain. I feel like it's been raining for a month up here.
[00:00:40] Speaker B: One day, we will do this podcast based on where do you feel most connected?
And it's like my Siri. I'm connected to the water. And when I'm here, which is all the time now, my life has changed forever like it is.
[00:00:59] Speaker A: What do people in Florida say when you tell them you're connected to the water?
[00:01:05] Speaker B: They usually. They usually walk away, like, all right. Right, right.
[00:01:08] Speaker A: Okay. All right. Yeah, well, we don't want. I. I'll never walk away from you. What are we. Today we're going to be talking about.
Really cool topic.
And the six human needs. I know we've discussed this before, but what are the six? And there's two specific. We're going to focus on today. But to start with, let's tell everybody what the six human needs are.
[00:01:34] Speaker B: So learning is nothing more than remembering a lot. And I was awakened to this. Like, duh. So the six human needs. And I'll go over them individually. I won't go down the whole definition of all of them. We're going to focus on two, but it is. It controls all of our behavior.
The six human needs. It's amazing. So the six human needs are certainty.
And I'll give a brief definition after I list them. Certainty, uncertainty, Love and connection.
Significance.
And then the two. Like, sometimes they're called the. The primal or the soulful needs that we're going to talk about today.
Growth and contribution.
So Certainty. I need that. We all need to have certainty in our life right now.
I'm in my house. I'm protected. I have food, I have water. That feels good.
But too much certainty doesn't allow us to leave the house.
So uncertainty is what brings us alive. Like right now. We don't. We don't. We sort of know what we're going to talk about, but we. We really don't. Right?
[00:03:00] Speaker A: That's. I never know. I know What I want to talk about, I just never know what the hell you're gonna say. I think there's a difference.
Yeah.
Oh, gosh, I could run with that, but I won't.
[00:03:13] Speaker B: And then there's love and connection. We need to be connected, right? And through the shutdown and all that, the reason why a lot of people were suffering was there was no connection.
Right? Then there's significance. We all have to feel like we're making a difference.
Right? So the best thing is, is a lot of times I'll bring up, like, the bad part of significance. The reason why someone will join a gang is to feel significant.
They don't have any significance in their life. That's why it's important to tell your wife or your husband or your lover, you look great today. I'm so glad you're in my life or a team member. I really appreciate everything you're doing here. Like, you mean a lot to me. Significance is huge. Doesn't matter who we are.
But the two primary or soulful needs are growth. So let's just growth and contribution. So let's just look at growth.
The question I will ask a new coach, coaching client is show me your growth plan.
And they'll say, you mean business plan. I'll say, no, growth plan.
What are you doing to expand your mind, to expand your brain? And here's the easiest one, dude. And I'm not saying this because you're here. A real estate agent needs to tap into your resources with the blueprint. The blueprint conversation allows a real estate agent to access your brain.
They're going to learn something new.
They're going to walk away with something new.
[00:05:06] Speaker A: Can I let you in on a little secret?
[00:05:08] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:05:10] Speaker A: It's the reason I love my blueprint conversations is I get to access their brain. Like, selfishly. I.
These things, these conversations have contributed so much to my growth and I'm addicted to it. I sometimes to a fault where I'm looking at my calendar, I'm like, how many can I fit in this week? Because I do. I just what you're saying, I tap into. I ask questions out of pure selfish curiosity. Like, I want to know what is it you're doing to grow? What is it that. What are areas where you're struggling? And then hopefully the alignment comes from like, okay, this is what you're struggling with, and this is what, what we have to offer. Then those two things come together and it's beautiful. But yeah, man, absolutely. It's that. It's the tapping into to someone else's wisdom.
[00:06:04] Speaker B: And I don't. I don't want to just gloss over this, so I'll tell you a quick story.
Years ago, when I was starting out as a recruiter, I was asked to meet with my regional director.
And at first I was like, ah, man, that's, you know, that's. I don't want to do that.
Whatever. Doesn't matter. Sat with him for 15 minutes and he gave me one nugget. He said, ed, if I were you, I would just make written offers to agents.
Dude, that 15 minute meeting with one person who I'm ashamed to admit I didn't think had any talent changed my career forever.
Changed my career forever. So the best resource we have, especially since this morning, Chat GPT is down. I don't know if you're aware of that, but I didn't know that it's not working. So now everybody has to call me, actually has to call you, because you have Chat GPT is the highest intelligence. Then you have Ken, Jordan, everybody.
[00:07:11] Speaker A: I call it ki, not AI.
[00:07:16] Speaker B: But the best resource we have. Like when you go to a. So another thing that I asked them to look at is are you going to real estate events? Now, when you're inside the arena with the 1,000, 10,000, 15,000, by the way, if anybody wants to go to EXPCON, reach out to me. I'll make sure I save you a place in Miami or in Miami, it's pretty cool.
But where the magic happens is the conversations outside of that room, one on one with the $100 million producer, with the.
The agent who learned how to build passive income streams and earn $200,000 a year selling real estate, which in the grand scheme of things, isn't a whole lot, but they do it working 10 hours a week.
That's where the magic happens. And that's part of growth. Now, if we feel like we aren't growing, dude, it's dangerous.
[00:08:21] Speaker A: What are some of the negative side effects? What are some of the negative manifestations for someone who is stuck and not growing?
[00:08:33] Speaker B: Well, there I would say, number one, they're stuck in their own head.
Number two, tell me if I'm answering this the way you want me to answer it. What I'm hearing is, what do I do when someone is stuck?
They're telling themselves a story of why they're stuck.
You don't understand. I'm a single mom. I'm a single dad. I was raised this way. And I will say, hey, look, here's. Here's the reality.
The event the trauma, the thing was not your fault, but your recovery is your responsibility.
Do you want me to introduce you to five men, five women who experience very similar things like you and have turned their pain into power, the storm into success?
I can do that.
[00:09:27] Speaker A: I think that's a great answer. And what I see when, just from experience, when I'm not in that growth mode, my energy is low, you know, depression, insecurity. Insecurity is at an all time high when I'm not in growth mode, when I'm not learning or seeking to learn.
And those are some, some red flags and tell, tell signs. And the good news is. What's the good news? The good news is if you feel these things, if you know these things, the good news is you, you, you get to make the decision right this second to turn it around and you know, and, and growth or progress. I use the word progress. I love the word growth. But I've always, I might change mine, but I've always used the word progress towards a meaningful goal as, as my definition of growth.
And it's.
[00:10:21] Speaker B: Can I give every, can I give the audience a real tool that they can use?
So if you text me, dm, me, whatever, and me, I'll send you the chart. But there's, or you could just Google the power versus Force energy chart.
And it's a, it's from a book that David, Dr. David Hawkins wrote years ago.
And it's a chart on our emotion that we live in and what is the vibration that's coming off of us.
So shame, self pity, guilt is the lowest form of energy and that's the vibration that's coming off this. And by the way, this isn't woo woo, it's quantum physics. This is science. We are all energy.
So when we can look at that and recognize, I will always ask my clients, where are you operating from today?
And my goal is to get them the, the chart is fascinating.
So the, the reason why we talk about gratitude list. The reason why we're talk, we talk about go help someone when you're at your lowest moment.
Go help someone.
You just lost three deals, your clients fired you, your dog gave you a dirty look, your investment just went bad.
What happens is we start looking at ourselves going, maybe I'm, I'm going real deep here. I'm a mistake.
God effed up when he made me.
Why am I even here?
Blah, blah, blah.
Switch. Who can I help?
Let me go to Publix right now to buy a bottle of water just so I can smile at people and Tell the, the person at the checkout line, hey, man, I love your tattoo. You have the most beautiful smile.
Oh my gosh, I love your earrings. What does that tattoo changes everything. Power versus force chart. Dude, it is probably the most important tool that I use in my own life and my own business.
[00:12:36] Speaker A: It.
[00:12:36] Speaker B: A picture paints a thousand words.
[00:12:39] Speaker A: You just, you just parlayed or whatever. You know, you just changed the subject rather than realizing that you, you, you took us into the last one. Yeah, took us into the last one. Which is contribution, Right?
[00:12:52] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:12:52] Speaker A: Just what, what I, what I hear, just heard you describe, you know, going into the store, smiling at people, being contributing to the, the improvement of someone else's day just with a smile helps you. Yeah, right?
[00:13:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
So the secret to living is giving contribution.
I describe it as giving away your love, your time, your money and your talent for free without anything expect in return. So I learned about this when I was crewing with Anthony Robbins.
Where I really started to nail it is in our world, top loan officers, top real estate agents, leaders of teams, leaders of brokerages will call me and say, dude, can we have a confidential conversation? Of course all of our conversations are confidential.
They'll say, my net worth just broke 10 million. 20 million.
I haven't made less than 100 grand a month in the last 10 years.
Whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever.
I just won the CrossFit Games. I just won the whatever it is.
And I feel empty and I'm frustrated and I'm ready. I feel like I, I want to end my life. Like literally, I don't want to live.
I'll ask them some questions, but one question that I ask them is I take them through this. Where do you see yourself or evaluate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10? 10, you're nailing it. One is pitiful. And the one question I ask them is where do you evaluate yourself or rate yourself on your contribution to the world? Giving away your love, talent, time, passions for free, dude, the highest number I've ever gotten from those people in that position, men and women, is a three.
Usually, usually it's a zero or a one.
And I'm literally thinking of somebody specifically right now that since I met her 16 years ago, multi, multi, multi millionaire, one of one of the most respected women leaders in Dollar County, Chester county, is still miserable because she hasn't flipped the switch to contribute without. And, and, and it's, it's actually like a sickness sometimes. I call it the, the disease of more.
And unfortunately, it looks like she's never going to come out of it. And it's sad, it's scary.
[00:15:45] Speaker A: There's contributions, the smile, the giving away of knowledge. You almost.
It's a two sided gift because not only do you impact the day, but like we talk about the need for significance. Sometimes your contribution is giving someone else significance, right? Like, I mean, what, how, how awesome is that? Right? How awesome is that? That that one of your contributions can be giving someone the gift of one of the six, you know, human needs, you know, love, giving away, like you said, giving way love without any expectation, you know, in return.
[00:16:27] Speaker B: And there's a story out there and I don't know that it's true, but let's just pretend it's true.
Someone that jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, the note that they left was, I'm on my way to the Golden Gate Bridge to jump off. If one person smiles at me or says hi, I will not jump because I will know I mattered to someone.
No one smiled at them, no one acknowledged them.
[00:16:53] Speaker A: Amazing.
[00:16:55] Speaker B: I like one of the, the, the most incredible experiences that I can only speak for myself that I got get to have is the text messages that I get out of the blue every week.
And I can tell you, dude, you, I can't put a amount of money on it.
I, I can't.
Like when I start to talk about it, I get choked up. It's like.
And I, I do nothing other than when I'm on.
My job is to love people and support people.
And I just happen to be in the real estate world and it's like to have that feeling. I can't, I cannot tell you.
There's no, there's no amount of money, man. Like we literally, we literally can save lives.
It's the ripple effect.
And we need, in our industry, the real estate industry, the mortgage industry, we need to do more of that and the ramp.
[00:18:09] Speaker A: It's funny.
Funny. I don't know why I use that word a lot. Ironic, whatever is that sometimes in contribution you don't even know, like if you're intentional about it. You may never know. You may never know if you made an impact. You kind of do you kind of do things in faith that, hey, I'm going to contribute. And the hope is that somewhere along the way I made an impact on somebody. I got a text message earlier this week from a parent whose kid I coached four years ago and he said, hey man.
I asked so and so to put together a list of people who have made an impact on her life. I'd like to invite them to the graduation party and I'm hoping you can make it. And like, I mean, blue, I was like, I showed it to my wife. I'm like, like, it just, I had no idea, right, that, that, like, you know, that, that, that, that I made an impact. But I do know that every day I woke up, especially when I coach, you know, you know, kids, I. Every day I wake up, I'm like, all right, how can I, how can I help them in areas of the bigger part of this game and life? And I was just. It made me feel great, it made me feel significant, it made me feel loved, like, you know, started checking off all these great boxes of human needs. So.
What an awesome conversation we got to have today. And, you know, for those of you who didn't write it down, it is. Human needs are certainty, uncertainty, love and connection, significance, growth and contribution.
An awesome conversation. What's your action item for today for the people that are still listening at 19 minutes and 49 seconds?
[00:19:53] Speaker B: Yeah, I would say just look at, take a look at your, your, your action, your go do.
We'll just focus on the one, your growth plan.
What. Who can you, who can you set a lunch appointment with to pick the brain?
Maybe what new book are you going to read or what book are you going to reread or what training will.
[00:20:24] Speaker A: You invest in or what podcast other than this one that you're going to listen to?
[00:20:30] Speaker B: Well, I don't know why anyone would listen to any other podcast.
They need more help than they can even imagine.
[00:20:38] Speaker A: I'm going to give my favorite action item, and it comes from contribution. And, and for me, what contribution does to shift my mindset from scarcity to abundance.
One of my favorite things to do. Sounds corny. Is, you know, go to Wawa on my way out the door, grab a $20 gift card, put it on my tab, and I hand it to the cashier and I just say, do me a favor and use this throughout the course of the day for anybody that's buying a cup of coffee. And sometimes I get funny looks. Sometimes they know what I'm up to already because I've done it before. But that, for me is a great way to shift out of, you know, scarcity and into abundance just by, you know, contributing to the, to the good day of, you know, you know, how awesome it is. Like, you know, it's so weird. Like, you could.
If you, sometimes, if you pay, if you're.
There's an old analogy I used to use where, you know, if you pay, I don't know, $100 too much for, for something.
But you were expecting. It's not that big of a deal, right?
If somebody overcharges you, you get upset, right? You're like, oh, this is what I expected.
Could be anything. But when you get something, when you, when you're expecting to pay $1.29, 83 cents, whatever it is, and it's, and it's, and it's not. It's free to like, changes your day, like changes the way you feel. It's so awesome, you know?
[00:22:05] Speaker B: How long, how long have you been doing that?
[00:22:07] Speaker A: I've been doing that for at least 10 years.
[00:22:10] Speaker B: Okay. So I'm going to make a prediction right now. And I know this is going to be heavy.
I know for a fact, unequivocally, unequivocally, you've saved five human beings lives from taking their life.
I. I know it, I know it. I know it unequivocally because that they may not have been thinking about doing it that day, but what that showed them is someone that they don't even know thought about them and therefore that makes them worthy.
That's amazing, dude. I never knew. I never knew you did that. And that is, that's just amazing.
[00:22:52] Speaker A: I usually do it. I take a selfie, I put it on Facebook.
No, but, but it's cool. It makes me feel good. I. Especially if I'm in a bad mood. It's like, that's one of my go to's. I skip out of the store. You know what I mean?
[00:23:06] Speaker B: So great stuff.
[00:23:07] Speaker A: Give it a shot. You'll love it. Check out the, check out the podcast. Check out Power versus Force Energy chart. And Ed, as always, I appreciate hanging out with you. Can't wait to talk to you again next week.
[00:23:19] Speaker B: See you soon, bro.
