Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Ken and Ed's mini podcast. I hope I pray I'm giving it over to God. I hope that my audio sounds good today. I always feel like I'm screaming into the microphone and nobody can hear anybody else. And granted, like, you know, give me all the attention. That's my vibe. But in this case, I want. I don't want that. So hopefully we'll see how this audio turns out as we get into our conversation here today. But, Ed, what's happening? First of all, good to see you.
I know that we had our kind of our pre. Preamble conversation here, and we landed on something that we wanted to talk about with our realtors today, and that is the key word identity. What's your identity? And there's some conversations around that word that we're going to have here today. So what do you think of when you hear the word identity?
[00:00:55] Speaker B: So the best thing I can do, rather than going up into my brain and trying to think, I will send or I'll tell you text I sent to one of my tribe members. Visualize closing this chapter in the book of your life.
Untether yourself to untether yourself to what was and what and what could have been and step into what you are becoming and what you are creating.
So to create a new identity, first we have to look at what do we have to let go of, what do we have to untether oursel from. That, by the way, is the way our brain is hardwired and conditioned. How many times do we hear, that's the way it's always been done. But this is the way I've. Well, creating a new identity is number one. Stretch it, stretch it, man.
Like whatever your brain remembering. Our brains main job is to protect us and to keep us safe. And what that means is.
Wait a minute, Ken, you, you, you. You want to build the best mortgage business ever with the best, best people.
But Ken, you're from Delaware County.
Peak has just closed down in our garden.
[00:02:21] Speaker A: I forgot we were going to lead with that. Peak is closed down. This is, this is devastating news for anybody that, that grew up in Delaware County.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: They are relocating somewhere in Delaware county that you gave me the news. But your brain's going to click in and go, what? No, no, no, you're going to get hurt. You're going to get hurt. What if. What? Right? So we have to recognize that and go, wait a minute, we talked about this I think last, last time. You want to build the best, the best mortgage branch ever Is that probable? Let's just say right now, let's say no.
Throw in the word unless.
This is part of creating a new identity when you work right, the words unless we create an app that allows our great buyers and our great agent partners to within the, the, the, the, the limits of what they qualify for to rewrite their pre approval. Oh crap. We got that right. There's a lot of unless, is there? But the new identity is something that's going to empower you. Something that's possible, something that's probable with the right people. Something that like why are we living maybe a mediocre life?
And part of that new identity is looking at who are we surrounded by.
And the hardest thing to do is to not totally abandon people who are your friends, who are your family members. It's just that we have to schedule them in the right place in our lives and our week. Right? A new identity means changing.
I'll tell you my story. In the last month my gym was 20 minutes away.
I'm looking at really being. I have some enormous 90 day goals.
I've been doing CrossFit for 13 years. I left the CrossFit gym and joined a really cool gym that's four minutes away from me now. I get back about 40 minutes a day of production.
I cut my workouts down from an hour and a half to 40 minutes.
Another whatever that is, 40 minutes.
It's about change, it's about possibility, it's about execution.
New identity, man. Like those that have, those that have done it, their first step, whether they realize it or not, was creating a new identity and taking the actions of that new identity.
[00:05:18] Speaker A: I think the, the what resonates with me, with what you just said and the untether yourself untethering, letting go of what's familiar instinctively. We all, we all equate familiarity with safety, right? And that's, that's, that's in our lizard brain, right? Like going back to before we, we had cognitive thinking, familiarity equals safety. Even if that thing that is familiar is painful, even if that thing that's familiar is destructive, even if that thing that's familiar is limiting, even if that thing that's familia is toxic.
Because our brains equate familiarity with safety. We are attracted to those things because they're familiar, not because they're good for us, not because they serve us, not because we're going to be able to accomplish what we want to accomplish is just familiarity. And it's behaviors, habits, right? Even your own habits become familiar and the actions you Take, you take a familiar action over a new action because it feels safer. And I think that untethering yourself from what you think is familiar or at least recognizing, recognizing that because it's familiar doesn't make it right, doesn't make it, doesn't mean it serves you, I think is a huge first step to re redesigning your identity. Your identity is you're familiar to yourself. How scary is it that I'm going to recreate my entire identity? Well, who am I to recreate my identity? I like me. Am I going to, I may not even like myself if I recreate, you know what I mean? Like, like you are familiar, familiar to yourself. I think it's so hard, especially for real estate agents, for salespeople, for loan officers that want to scale.
They have got to let go of first of all, they got to visualize who they want to be. Then they got to do the put in place the systems and the processes, but they got to do the work on themselves to become the person capable of achieving those dreams. And that starts with a new identity.
[00:07:24] Speaker B: Yep. So a couple quick examples.
An agent that I have formally coached on and off for 10 years, wonderful human being, always reading the books, always, always posting positive stuff. This is going to be my year. Always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always doing that stuff. And my question to her every week is, are you still drinking four glasses of wine a night? Well, yeah, I have to hang up.
Nothing's going to change, man. You can't, you can't become the best version of yourself while you're drinking four glasses of wine tonight. It ain't gonna happen, period. End of story. I'm wearing this winter hat.
Rob Lawrence is a shout out to Rob Lawrence. Rob Lawrence continues and his team continues, continues to create a new identity. Well, we'll just start with Rob. Rob has continued to create a new identity for himself every year over, over and over again.
His team's up something like 75% year after year after year. There's a reason for that. And this is a plug for coaching.
Maybe not coaching with me. We're going to talk maybe about how you identify your tribe in a minute.
Rob. Rob and I identify. We're tribal members.
His, his teammates were tribal members. We can pitch and catch real easily.
If you don't have a coach and this does not mean your broker in your office, it could include them. But if you don't have a one on one coach that works on you from a 10,000 foot view, you can't we can't figure this out in our own heads. Our own thinking got us to where we are.
[00:09:29] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:09:29] Speaker B: That's right. We, we. That's why recovery works so well. I tried to get clean and sober on my own. I don't need that. I'm Ed Fordyce. I can do, I can do that for nine months. I could. Then I went back to my old ways.
We need adult supervision. I like to make a joke. We need adult supervision and I mean that. So if it's not me, challenge to anyone, and this could be a go do, hire a coach, even if it's once a month, a qualified coach. If you need a list of them, reach out to me. I'll give you a list of them. And by list, I mean like three. Because, dude, this is just me being me, my new identity. Most coaches suck, especially if they're part of the big boxes.
Get somebody who is trained both in the real estate business as well as the personal growth, wellness health body systems, the operating system. That's why I do the B5 method and the rant. This is good. But right now, dude, you've been in the business as long as I have. We either do this or you're out of business.
[00:10:51] Speaker A: Absolutely. I, I, and maybe not maybe out of business is, is the worst case scenario. But, but even best case scenario, living an uninspired, stagnant life doesn't excite anyone and it's not attractive. So for all those people that are out there, like, maybe they've been in the business 25 years, like, look, I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel. I'm pretty happy with what I have and you know, I don't want to go out and reinvent myself. Listen, that's fine, but you're not attractive to anyone when you're living in that world. When that's your vibe, when that's your energy, you're not going to grow. You are only going to slowly shed the people that are in your life from a business perspective to the point where you will have nothing left. So, so it's, it's a requirement almost of anyone who's in this business that you, you don't, you have. I don't care how old you are, you have to constantly be willing to reinvent yourself, reinvent your identity, surround yourself with the people that can give you outside perspective.
Have that ideal of who you know, the ideal which you'll never get to. The ideal. We all know that the ideals are horizon, the ideal. You can move towards it and we both Learned that in 10x is bigger than 2, is easier than 2x. You can move towards the ideal, but you'll never get there. And that's okay. Right?
But if you lose sight of an ideal and you're just sitting there, you're just floating along, not attractive. No one's, no one's gonna want to work with you. People will work with you out of familiarity. Yeah, but, but, but no one's gonna take you on as a, as a new venture, as a new idea. So, so that's, that's all important stuff when it comes to identity. Be willing to, to recreate yourself. You're willing to become something different. And that starts with outside perspective and it starts with surrounding yourself with, with different people. Now let's, let's transition. I'm good at, I'm good at those segues, Ed. Let's segue into your tribe. How is, how is your tribe contribute to your change in identity? Is it because it gives you courage to become that person? Because again, you have to step away from the familiar, you being the familiar. Tell me about how that, how that, how important that is.
[00:13:08] Speaker B: So when we did our training a few months ago, Gene Volpe talked about your avatar, right? And what your tribe is, is number one, understanding. Not everyone is going to align with you. Maybe not everyone is even going to like you.
But in the book over subscribed, which is an awesome book, it talks about the tribe of people who you align with, where I can be my true authentic self knowing that 80 to 90% of the population is going to go, that guy's crazy.
He, he talks about hydration. What does that have to do with real estate? He's got a tattoo on his neck. Oh, by the way, he's a junkie and a drunk.
He's got all this energy, right?
And that's cool. The other 10 to 20% are going to go that just like Sam Simmons did. I knew within five minutes you're the guy that I needed.
And what I realized and when I embraced that, instead of trying to be liked by the other 80% because Sam knew within 30 seconds of us connecting, we're going to go deep.
I don't do this superficial level. Tell me about your scripts. Let's go over your database. Yeah, that's part of it.
But I go deep, man. I go right to the core. There's a great coach out there if you want to coach with him. He charges $2,000 for a 20 minute coaching session. His name's John Cheplak by the Way anybody watching this? This is just so cool. So I love working with you, dude. God speaks to me and through me when we hang out. His beautiful daughter right now. She just had like, her third heart surgery. She's a young mother and she's. She's in trouble right now.
Pray for Lexi Cheplak.
John is a monster in the business.
And that dude, because he's fit, because he's a good looking guy, because he's outspoken. I've seen him attacked over the years. Dude, get out of the tanning salon. Are you on steroids? John just keeps serving and giving and he's. He's probably like, he's, you know, he's one of the best coaches out there.
But his daughter's in trouble, man. Like, she needs. She needs our help. She needs our prayers. Sorry for getting sidetracked there, but know your tribe. Be okay with not being liked.
Create your avatar. Be okay with saying, this is who I am. This is how I serve. Let me tell you how I work, Mr. Buyer, Mrs. Seller. This is how I work. I don't need your business. I want your business. And this is what it looks like.
[00:16:20] Speaker A: True to yourself, be okay. But not being liked, that's a tough one. That's a tough one. Again, you go back to that lizard brain. You know, being liked is an important part of survival in our. In our minds. I mean, you know, being unliked in. In our.
In our subconscious mind. Being unlike this equated to. You might as well just throw me out to the wilderness and let me, let me die. Because if you. If I'm unlike, I'm kicked out of my tribe, kicked out of my village. I don't have the law of large numbers that protect me anymore. It's just me against the world.
But being authentic is also attractive. So you got to let go of what's familiar and have the courage to be unliked in some cases. Because again, just because people like you doesn't mean they're the right people and it doesn't mean it serves you. So great conversation, man. This was awesome. I feel like, again, our mini podcast, one of our drawbacks is I feel like we could talk for hours, but you have an appointment. I have an appointment because we are both working people. We are not. We don't just sit around and talk to each other all day, which is another important value that we bring to these conversations is that we're out there in the trenches, as they say, with all the loan officers, with all of the real estate agents out there, and we are just so you guys know, we're cheering every single one of you guys on the ones that know us, even the ones we haven't met yet. And, and, and this is why I enjoy these conversations. I'm going to leave us with our action items today. Number one, get a coach. Look into a coach, even if it's once a month, that outside perspective is critical. Everyone should have a coach.
Number two, check out, over, subscribe. That was your book recommendation for the for the week. And last but not least, pray for Lexi. So if anyone's still listening at minute 18, bless you for hanging out with us this long. But more importantly, say a little prayer for Lexi that she gets what she needs. And yeah, man, we will. We'll catch up soon.
[00:18:20] Speaker B: Good job, brother.
