Ep. 24 Talking with Skye Michiels

[00:00:09] Speaker A: You're listening to selling the dream. This isn't an interview, and we're not journalists, but each week, we'll ask our guests to open up and share their secrets to business success. Let's have a conversation and have some fun. [00:00:24] Speaker B: And the number one podcast on iTunes with the co host, Joe Iredell. So that's always, I mean, we were, we were blessed with that recognition the other day. We were literally the number one podcast. [00:00:38] Speaker C: Where you're the co host, Joe, this week. This week. So that's good, man. Let's keep the momentum going, and I'll try not to be as good on the other ones, so. [00:00:50] Speaker B: Yeah, man. Yeah, definitely. You know, just call it in on the other ones, but bring your a game when you're here. [00:00:56] Speaker C: That's good. [00:00:58] Speaker B: We were just. I don't know if you're allowed. I don't if you want to talk about this, but we talk. We were talking offline, and you were saying you got some new developments in your home front, fighters. [00:01:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:01:09] Speaker B: Organization. [00:01:10] Speaker C: You know, we just had a, we just had a big event last weekend where we invited a bunch of the wives, the military wives, to our gym to learn some self defense and jiu jitsu. We did yoga. We had a bunch of sponsors come out. It was such an incredible opportunity to support the women that stand behind our soldiers. And it was really cool because a lot of times when people think about a nonprofit, it's a charity. We're helping the underserved or people who can't. And this is actually, this whole thing's like the opposite. Like, these women are badasses, and this is a really cool way to celebrate what they do. And, you know, all the hard work that they do of really fighting on the home front and keeping things together when their husbands or spouses are out fighting for our country, you know, it's a great way to celebrate them and bring that community together, because a lot of times they're disjointed, they're doing their thing, and, you know, they don't know other, they don't have a support system, they don't know other families and so forth. So it's, it's really cool. It's, it's. The whole movement is taken over. We've got a lot of really big, big stuff coming. We have some awesome people that have stepped up and want to be part of the board and, and so forth. So it's awesome, man. It's really puts it, puts it into perspective when you see the people come together for the cause so I'm excited about it. [00:02:43] Speaker B: That's great, man. Dude, keep up the good work. I think it's a great, it's a great cause. It's a great idea. And, and I can tell just from following along that, you know, you're really given some, some people that need the support, the support they need. So that's cool, man. [00:03:00] Speaker C: Awesome. [00:03:00] Speaker B: Congratulations on the continued developments there. We have an awesome show today. We have a guest, someone who we've had on before. We had a ton of fun last time he was here, so we thought we'd have him back. And we're super excited to have back the one and only sky Michaels. What's up, sky? [00:03:21] Speaker D: How's it going, guys? Grateful to be. [00:03:23] Speaker B: You are literally the one and only sky Michaels. You're the only sky Michaels. I know. [00:03:28] Speaker D: I think, yeah, given the way my first and last name are spelled, I'm pretty sure I am the only one out there. [00:03:36] Speaker C: If he has a clone, if I recall from the last one, there's a really unique way to find out if he's the legitimate sky Michaels, too. So you don't have to listen to the podcast. There's the foolproof authentication process that we. [00:03:53] Speaker B: How do I know. [00:03:57] Speaker D: What that is? But yes. [00:04:01] Speaker B: So, Scott, you have some new stuff going on. You're starting some new and exciting adventures. Why don't you tell us a little bit about what you got going on. [00:04:10] Speaker D: Yes. So last time we were here, for the last two years I've been working as the head of coaching for compass real estate nationally. I was traveling around the country teaching agents in different areas. It was an incredible job and incredible journey. But, you know, there was a point in probably November ish where I looked up and I was like, man, my daughter is 14, you know, my son's eleven, and, you know, the traveling and everything, I enjoyed it, but at the end of the day, it takes a lot of toll and I always had this burning desire. I've been an entrepreneur pretty much my entire life, from being a twelve year old paper boy to like, building a real estate career and title companies and helping compass launch. And really, even though it's a corporation, it felt like a startup. It was a startup company. So I had this desire to get back to being an entrepreneur and I made the decision, been working towards the decision, but at the end of February, I made the decision to finally leave my corporate job and leave the safety of that easy paycheck and the benefits and all that and jump back into being an entrepreneur. And I launched the with heart Coaching Company, which is my new passion project and hopefully is going to be something that's going to impact, you know, so many lives as I build it out and start to take it forward here. [00:05:38] Speaker C: Awesome, man. [00:05:38] Speaker B: So before we get into what that is, tell me a little bit about what that was. Like, that idea. Like you're thinking, all right, I'm going to go from corporate now. I'm going to go back into the entrepreneur space. I mean, you know, it had to be a little bit scary. [00:05:51] Speaker D: Yeah, it's, so there's, it's, it's a roller coaster, right? There's these moments of extreme highs that just got done teach, you know, coaching a 90 person team in California. So, like, I'm so high after that, right. It's such an amazing feeling, you know, and people are so impacted and it's like what my purpose is. And then there's really low lows where it's like you're laying awake at night thinking, oh, my God, I didn't get to this. I need to do this. This still needs to be done. Or in the middle, you got those little moments of imposter syndrome that you go through where you're looking at these other coaching websites and you're like, wow, my website has so much work to do on marketing, on this, on the website out of my programs aren't built out the way those are yet. And so you battle all these emotions. And honestly, I think in many ways, like this process of starting and building a company, in many ways, I'm doing it for myself as well. Some of the programs I'm running are actually messages I'm trying to give myself. So in many ways, this is a process for any entrepreneur. The guarantee is you're going to be in the roller coaster, right? And the difference is what are the systems you're implementing to make sure you're, you're managing the ups and the downs. So they actually are little ripples and not just big massive waves, if that makes sense. So, yeah, a lot. Any, every emotion you can imagine, from excitement to sadness to elation to fear to joy, etcetera, all the, all the range of emotions I've felt over this last two months of sort of launching this company and taking everything forward. [00:07:39] Speaker B: That's awesome, man. Well, congratulations on that. So, so why don't you tell us a little bit about the program. What is it that you're, you know, what is it you're looking to, to bring to this, you know, the coaching space? [00:07:51] Speaker D: Well, I've been dreaming about this company for for years, ever really since I was actually at Keller Williams. And I got very involved in the training and the coaching programs out in Keller, Keller Williams. And then obviously at Compass, you know, I was very involved in that and then eventually became the head of coaching. So over the years, I've been exposed to all these different models of coaching that are out there, and it's mainly in the real estate world. But I've also done a tremendous amount of self help, you know, therapy and everything like that. And the whole I saw in the coaching world was the fact that a lot of coaches teach tactics and they'll say, hey, you know, call these 50 people, send this email, send this letter. But what they're really not teaching is the whole person. Because at the end of the day, when you only teach tactics, it's very similar to a doctor just prescribing blood pressure medication to a patient and never addressing the root issues or root causes of why that patient is unhealthy. Right. While they're taking that blood pressure medication. Yeah, that blood pressure goes down. So while the realtor is doing these specific actions, sure, they might do a little business, but we're not addressing the root cause of why they weren't doing it in the first place. Right. Let's be real. Most business entrepreneurs, most of us know what to do. We don't do it because of fill in the blank. So everything I wanted to create at this coaching company is designed not just to give tactics and, you know, letters and emails and all that stuff, which you can literally can go online and get that it really is designed to coach from the heart to the heart. Right. So I called it with heart coaching for that reason that I really wanted to make sure I was coaching the human being as well as the tactics. Because when you combine getting into someone's emotions, mindset, fears, joy, etcetera, and we really get into the energy of why they're doing something and what's blocking them. That's when you really unlock a powerful result for people, and more importantly, you unlock a powerful result that may not be forever as well. A lot of these coaching companies, I think, are designed to keep people constantly, almost like, quote unquote, keep them sick in some ways. And I wanted to create something that really hyper focused, not just on, again, on the tactics, but actually focused on making people really happy and really healthy in the whole process of doing whatever it is we're coaching on. The other thing that I recognize as well is like the relationship based selling model that I coach and train to is very applicable to pretty much any other industry that works with people. So mortgages can. What you do, the tactics I teach and the mindset that I teach is applicable to loan originators. Los it's applicable to insurance people who are working with insurance lawyers, who operate a family practice, let's say anyone that operates a small business that deals with relationships as far as how they get business. I can teach that. So I didn't call it real estate with heart, but I called it with heart coaching because I did want this to be a big umbrella that over time, other industries could actually find coaching and tactics and techniques that are going to help them. So that's some of the background on why I called it with heart coaching. And then some of the programs that are going to be, that are going to unfold here are all going to sort of hearken back to being people, being happy, healthy and doing business in a more human way. [00:11:41] Speaker B: What do you think? And I'll ask this to both of you guys. What do you think? Why do people have an aversion to coaches? So some people didn't embrace the idea. I do. I think that everybody needs some sort of a coach, even the best athletes, and we've heard that analogy, all have coaches, golfers have caddies. What is it? What do you think is that? Especially entrepreneurs. I'm gonna put entrepreneurs. And, Joe, maybe you could speak to this, too. Put entrepreneurs above salespeople as far as their resistance to coaching. Maybe it's just a, it's a, it's hard coded in their DNA to not listen to somebody else. I don't know. But, but what do you guys think is the reason why people resist the idea of a coach? [00:12:25] Speaker D: Jon, let you go first. I have some opinions on this. [00:12:29] Speaker C: I think it's because they don't have the confidence in themselves to start, and it costs money to hire a coach. So, like, they're not that most people look for the easy answer. They're like, how do I do this? Tell me. And it's like, well, this is a process that you're going to need to learn, and you have to be willing to learn it. And in order to learn it and have an effective coach, you're going to have to invest in that coach. And if the coach is worthwhile, the coach costs money. And so you're not just investing in that coach, you're investing in yourself. So it comes back to why people don't become entremon entrepreneurs in the first place. It's because they're scared and they don't have the confidence to do it. So they come up with every excuse not to. And then when it doesn't work, they don't blame, you know, they don't blame themselves. They blame, well, it's because of this, that or the other. So that's that, from what I've seen, is the biggest resistance, the people who are doing you. [00:13:23] Speaker B: Joe, Joe, you don't think it's a personality type that someone who's willing or, or capable or has the makeup of an entrepreneur, you don't think that they're by nature resistant to listening to other people? Do you think that has a role in it? And maybe Scott might be stealing your thunder a little bit. [00:13:42] Speaker C: It's not. No, because you can't. Well, let me answer that this way. All it takes to become an entrepreneur is balls. That's it. It's balls and a process. That's all you need to have. Because if you want to accomplish, if you want to be an entrepreneur and start a business and be successful, you just have to a do it. You have to. Then once you're doing it, as long as you don't get sick or messed up on drugs or alcohol or, like, lose your shit, you're going to be successful if you're a hard worker and you're honest with yourself. So what the coach does is essentially lets you see things that maybe, like, you're pretty myopic in your goal. So they kind of let you see different perspectives that maybe you wouldn't have. And then it's kind of a cheat code. It gets you there a little bit faster. But ultimately, most people don't even take the first step. They, like, have every excuse not to do it, and then they don't even get to the point where they get to a coach. So that's my experience, at least. And I don't know if sky, you have a different take on it. [00:14:49] Speaker D: But, yeah, I think I agree with what you said for sure. And I think the other thing is that people have a very difficult time connecting the results. Like Ken, everyone would hire the coach if they could see that the $1,000 or the money they're investing, if they could see that returned in a day, every single person would have it. [00:15:11] Speaker B: So it's an immediate gratification issue to an extent. [00:15:13] Speaker D: It's a huge issue around immediate gratification and the fact that, you know, the reality is for, for most people, unfortunately, that immediate gratification is something that is not present in coaching, you know, and because of the fact that they're the activities, let's say just in real estate. I start coaching Joe, and he's a realtor, and I start giving him things that he can do. The activities he does today is going to impact him in three months from now. But remember, he's invested three months of income into it before. Maybe there's a result right away. Now, you know, once again, this is another benefit of way I coach, which is like adding in this world of happiness and healthiness, I can actually start to push you into doing some things that are not just real estate related, but actually for yourself as a human being to hopefully push you towards action that you can actually feel, you know, not immediate results, but you'll start to feel a little healthier. I'm starting to walk. I'm starting to eat a better diet. I'm starting to meditate. Right, whatever it might be. So I think that's where we go back into this world where if all I'm doing is coaching tactics, you know, there is a delayed response to tactics where people can't always connect the investment to the result, right? And I think that's. That's probably one of the biggest things. If everyone could have a crystal ball, everyone would hire a coach, right? But at the end of the day, you know, there's all these factors I think Joe had, too. I think people are very willing to invest and put time into other people, and it's very difficult for us to be sort of healthy, selfish, and actually invest in ourselves and make ourselves better. Do you know what I mean? [00:16:57] Speaker C: I think the other thing, too, is people are afraid to put the mirror up against themselves, and they know that when they have a coach, they're going to be held accountable. And that accountability scares a lot of people. They're like, well, I don't want this guy digging into what I'm doing because I've tricked myself into thinking that I'm doing everything right, and I don't want that spotlight put on me. There's definitely some reluctance there. Yep. [00:17:21] Speaker B: Dude, you just. You just nailed that. Tricked myself, man. Are we not our own best and worst enemy? We can convince ourselves of anything, right? And, you know, I always tell my kids rational lies is two words, right? That it's completely rational, you know, logical. You could put two and two together. At the end of the day, it's still lying to yourself. When you rationalize why you didn't do this or why you're not where you want to be or why this and why that. And the brain, you know, the mind, it just. It's so powerful in convincing you that you don't need to do this or that you don't need that, or it's not your fault, or. You're right, Joe. Someone comes along and shines that different perspective, and you're like, well, shit, now I got to do something about it, right? Before, ignorance was bliss, right? Now, I'm like, okay, now I have this person who's helping me see, you know, maybe my blind spots. And you now you have to be willing to either ignore them or go after them and. And fix them, right? I mean, that's. That's an in. That's it. That's a pretty good, uh. It's a pretty good point there. [00:18:26] Speaker D: Um, the mirror is scary, on that note. Like, the mirror is a scary place to be. Well, we gotta look at ourselves. Absolutely scary place to be. So it's much safer to point the finger. And I think, too, you know, I'm holding on my cell phone now. If you're listening to this, like, the ability for us to just literally click a button and be in a different world, aka Instagram, Facebook, and be laughing at other people and not look at ourselves, it's so easy nowadays to just lose ourselves in these phones and literally not look in the mirror. And I think, Joe, that's a really valid point of why people don't hire coaches. [00:19:05] Speaker C: Yeah, for sure. [00:19:07] Speaker B: Let me ask you about this. You had used a term that I've heard and I've used, I've thought about a lot, because I think. I think I deal with it. And I'll use a quote that imposters do not suffer from imposter syndrome. Right? But we all suffer. I think that we all suffer from imposter syndrome. What do you think? Do you think that imposter syndrome is as big as a problem as most people might get out to be? But more importantly, how do you overcome it? Like, what kind of self talk, what kind of whatever affirmations? What do you do to help overcome your imposter syndrome? [00:19:47] Speaker D: So, first off, I would argue, I think imposter syndrome has actually ramped up so much because of social media. You think about a world where 20 years ago, when we know every single day anyone that's going on instagram, all they're seeing is perfection. All day, every day. And 20 years ago, we didn't have to deal with this constant barrage of perfection from either physical looks, right? [00:20:15] Speaker B: Or wait, you didn't read 16 magazine sky? That's where I got all my insecurities. [00:20:27] Speaker D: I won't. So I think he had other magazines we won't mention. Anyways, my point is, like, we're bombarded by perfection all day, every day now. So I think that is amped it up a lot, you know? And for me, I'm very good most of the time of reminding myself not to. Not to be pulled into it, you know? But when it does happen, and it will happen, what I always try to do is there's a mantra I use or a quote, and it's called be where your feet are. Right? Like, imposter syndrome happens when we are looking ahead of ourselves or look and like, oh, my God, like, I'm not there. I'm not, you know, I need to do so much to get there, or we're looking behind us and saying, oh, my God, I'm such an idiot for not doing x, y, z in the past. So for me, this concept of being where my feet are is what I try to dive into and what I think is the key to really overcoming quote unquote imposter syndrome. Because if I'm where my feet are, what am I not doing? I'm not looking at other people. I'm not measuring myself to a bar that is too big. The other concept that really helps me is this is from a book called the gap in the game. Most people measure their happiness based on the gap. In other words, the gap of what they did not accomplish in the day, in the week, in the month, in the year, in their life. The key to happiness is actually measuring the gain. Right? A lot of us probably could write a huge to do list and we don't get anything done. Or, you know, we do some of it, but not all of it. And what do we focus on? The things we didn't do right. So, in many ways, I think I try to also remind myself, like, all right, what did I gain today? What were the steps I took today? And then making sure every single day it won't be perfect, but I am going to make progress every single day. So those two concepts of being where your feet are and then making sure I measure the gap and use, I'm sorry, the gain. Making sure the gain is what I'm measuring my happiness to, not the gap. Because every day there's going to be stuff I don't get to every single day. There's not a day in my entrepreneurial journey or career. Even when I was working at compass, there's not a day that didn't go by that I didn't get to everything. Do you know what I mean? So you, you really need to dive into, all right, how is this process going to unfold where I can actually, despite all the things I need to do or should do, I'm actually going to be happy in this moment. And that, that to those two concepts being where your feet are, measure the use, the gap, the gain as the measure of happiness are sort of what I come back to. [00:23:12] Speaker C: I don't know. For me, it's interesting you pose that question, because I don't want to say I've never had imposter syndrome because I really don't. But I look at it as I've never focused on where I'm at. I always focus on where I'm going. So every conversation I have ever was, I might be, they wanted a company be like, dude, I'm like, the top of this come. I'm gonna be number one in this company. When I talk about where I am now, it's like, where I'm going. And as long as, like, I'm talking about and I'm doing the things, the steps to get to where I want to be, then, like, you're not an imposter. You're just not there yet, but, like, you can still visualize and act as if and all these things, and, like, ultimately you get it. You get there, and, like, then it's been a. Just a self fulfilling prophecy as opposed to, like, well, you know, I'm. I'm this. I'm acting this way, but I'm not actually that way. So, like, that's, for me, that's. That's kind of, like, forward thinking as opposed to worrying about what. And also, too, it has to do with, like, I don't give a shit what anybody thinks about me, quite honestly. Like, the older I get, the less people's opinions of me. And, like, perception is. Makes any difference on what I'm doing because, you know, I know if I'm doing the right thing, then it shouldn't matter. So that, that, I think as you get older, you start to be more successful. You start to realize that, you know, it doesn't matter what anybody thinks as long as you're doing your best and you're moving forward every day, so. [00:24:45] Speaker D: Agreed. [00:24:46] Speaker B: I think that's easy to say, though, at a certain point. Like, I think the challenge is, you know, we're all the certain age where we've, we've had, we battled and we got our scars and our victories and our defeats and, you know, the gift of wisdom, but, you know, someone who's just starting out, it's really difficult. It's really difficult for someone who's just starting out to not care about what other people think of them, especially sky. In your business, you know, as a coach, like, you kind of need. You kind of need people to like you, right? And even in sales, in a lot of ways, you kind of, you know, are you. Are you building relationships? You don't build relationships with people you don't like. I mean, let's beat that up a little bit. [00:25:30] Speaker D: I mean, in the coaching business, I think, I don't necessarily know if people need to like you, but they definitely need to connect and respect you. Right. And I think depending upon your avatar, so to speak, or who is your target client, you know, for my target client, like, I am trying to attract a certain person that's interested in doing business in a very human way. I'm not the guy that's going to be coaching you on how to cold call fsbos and expires. Right. So for me, there is a world where I don't need people to like me. And this is a concept called, I call it being the light, not giving the light. I don't need to convince anyone that I'm bright. I just need to focus on myself and make myself shine as bright as I can. And if people are attracted to that, that's great, right? So I think in some ways it's, you're never gonna make someone like you right there. You're going to become, like, who you are and people will be attracted to that or not attracted to that. And I think that's, I guess, the concept to sort of come back to, so, but as a coach, like, you definitely need to have a level of authority and credibility. Do you know what I mean? So it's not necessarily that people need to like, like you because there's a lot of coaches probably really effective that people just don't like, and that's okay. [00:26:50] Speaker B: But they definitely were straight up jerks and that's their, that's their difference is. [00:26:56] Speaker C: So the key words that got is attraction and authenticity. So, like, if you're authentic and you're true to yourself and you are, make no apologies for it and you're so resolute in what you believe and that how you're doing is the right way and it's helpful for others that's authentic and that's going to attract the right people that you want to be around and that will be the most receptive to your type of, in this case, coaching. If you try to be everything to everybody, you're not authentic, and you will attract the people who are also not authentic. And, you know, like. And so it just sets you up for the wrong thing. So that's why it's, when I say, I don't care what people think about me, it's, I don't care what the masses of people think about me, but I do care when I'm myself, and that's not what's driving my behavior. It attracts the right people, and the right people have that whose opinions matter to me, that those are the people that I'm catering my behavior to, because we're like minded and we're in the same. Going in the same direction. That's kind of where that comes from. [00:28:04] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:28:06] Speaker B: Hmm. Yeah. I think it's important, you know, that that whole, you know, people tie their self, their self worth, their self image to, you know, kind of other people's opinions. And I think that it's gotten so much worse with social media, you know, and, and it's starting, and it's being kind of indoctrinated into the youth, you know? And listen, the social media generation is, is here in business now. You know, that the kids that had Instagram or Facebook are now entering the business world, and they're bringing with them this super high level of insecurity based on what other people think of them. And I feel like what it's causing in business, especially for the, for the youngest people in business, is this need to, like, be like, you use the word avatar, and I know you didn't mean it in this, in this sense, but, like, but, like, almost like, be a different person, depending on the circumstances and, and seeking that, like, that validation from the people in their lives. And I think it's a huge issue socially. And, you know, it's something that we, as our age, like, I think we're all pretty much close in age, we kind of straddle that, that, that reality where we kind of grew up without social media, but we, we did have it at a young, very young adult age. I think it's going to be up to us to help this generation of people to kind of bring them away from that need for social validation. And social validation is an important thing. I mean, it's important. It's ingrained in us from our DNA, right. If you weren't socially validated back in the caveman days, right, you got cast out of the crowd, and now you had to fight for yourself. And we've talked about that before, Joe, but what are some of the things that we can do to help, let's say, the younger people, the people that are in their twenties and below 30, that what are some of the things we can do to help them kind of disconnect from that social validation, from that need for everyone to quote unquote like them? [00:30:10] Speaker D: That great question. I mean, number one, I think, is we need to teach them how to fall in love with themselves. That's number one, I think there's a lot of, a lot of younger people are putting their happiness based around conditions that are outside of themselves. And the key to them becoming happy is actually falling in love with themselves. If I had the girlfriend, if I had the boyfriend, if I had the car, if I was on that vacation that I see on social. This, I think, is such a huge concept that young people need to be, we need to be developing with young people, is actually just falling in love with yourself. Like, what is it about you that you love? And how do you actually just accentuate that? Do you know what I mean? Because we are not, I'm not going to have hair, I'm not going to have a sex pack, right? Here's the reality. There's certain realities, but I can still love myself. And I think that's concept one. And then concept two is coming back into these conditions that people are creating around happiness that if I don't have x, I won't be happy. And happiness, I'll be happy when. [00:31:29] Speaker B: I'll be happy when I'll be happy when that's crazy. [00:31:33] Speaker D: And the reality is like, happiness is actually in the present moment. And this is like where teaching young people how to meditate or teach young people how to exercise or read. Let's be real. How many of our young, my kids, it frustrates me that they're not more readers, you know what I mean? So how do we actually get to a point where these young people are really diving into a world of investment in, you know, themselves? And I think that that's the biggest thing is, like, we got to detach them from creating so many conditions that if I get this, when I do this, I should be doing that, then I'll be happy. They had to understand happiness is actually deeply rooted inside of us. We just need to let it out and become ultra present with ourselves, aka fall in love with ourselves. And that's, I think, a skill that, you know, we have not taught really well in, in our society. You know what I mean? [00:32:35] Speaker B: So some might say by design, right? Like, you know, we've talked about that before, too. Like, society's job is to keep you broken, right? I mean, you know, you're serving someone else's purpose if you're not serving yourself. And that person needs you to stay broken in order to continue to serve their purpose. Right? [00:32:54] Speaker D: And capitalism too, right? I mean, capitalism, if, you know, we live in a capitalist society, which is obviously, there's positives to that for sure, but there's a lot of negatives to that in the sense that we're being fed messages of wanting more at all times, do you know what I mean? Instead of being happy with what we have. [00:33:16] Speaker B: That's a great point. The other day I just had a long conversation with someone about the difference between gratitude and complacency. I've always felt like gratitude and complacency were on the same side of a coin. Meaning that if you were truly grateful for what you have, then why would you want more? And if you want more than are you really grateful for what you have? And if you're not grateful, then if you are grateful, then it's going to kind of drift into complacency. And I think that if you have a healthy relationship between gratitude and the idea that the happiness comes from the journey towards the progress you make towards the things that the person you become in pursuit of the goals, then you can be grateful and continue to pursue goals at the same time. And I think that's something that's not talked about enough either. [00:34:10] Speaker D: Yeah, I agreed. And that dichotomy is a really interesting one, right? Like where it's like we're only successful if we push harder, but if you push too hard, then that's like, that's not healthy. And if you don't push enough, then you're complacent slash lazy. So how do you actually walk that dichotomy or walk that line between, you know, being grateful, being happy where I'm at, but then still wanting and desiring more or better. So this is a concept I call being, you know, I'll teach in this, in these programs that we need to work at just being 1% better every day versus like, trying to make, you know, trying to lose 30 pounds in a month or trying to, you know, do these big things that we, we have not lost any weight for years and we're just gonna lose, go and lose 30 pounds. Like, that's just not the way it works, right? So instead it's like, alright, I'm just gonna actually eat healthy for a week. I'm gonna go for a walk for one week and let's just start there. So it's like this concept of atomic or little habits, little changes, little pieces of your routine. That's a key in the pathway forward for people rather than these big things that we sort of create that we ultimately are going to fail at and make us feel even worse. [00:35:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I, funny you say that. [00:35:33] Speaker C: I think atomic habits. [00:35:34] Speaker B: Yeah, I just, real quick, I never read that book for years and years. Years recommend it. And in my mind, the word atomic meant like, massive habits, massive changes, massive, blah, blah, blah. But he meant Adam Adams are actually really small level, turns out. What are you going to say, joe? [00:35:53] Speaker C: I was going to say that the rewards are the byproduct of being disciplined. So, like, that's all it is. Like, you're not, if you want something, like, you know, if you set a goal, like, I want a bigger house, I want something like this. Like, that's fine, but at the end of the day, like, you're, if you, if you set good habits and you work hard, like, youre the victory. Like, the spoils are the results of your hard work. So you should be grateful that you have the skill sets to be able to deploy this discipline and this process. And, like, that's what you're, that's what you're grateful for. You're not complacent. Like, oh, I have all this stuff. Like, complacency is if you're not deploying the skill set that you have and following this discipline because, like, and I just, somebody said this and I was like, wow, that's pretty deep. But, like, self discipline is the greatest reward that you can give yourself because it just, everything follows in suit. And then these huge goals, these huge tasks start going from big to an atomic level, and you just start to chip away at it. And when you look through the process and you look back, you start to have all this stuff. But then at that point, you're not, because you're grateful of the skill set that you have. You don't stop. You keep going. So, you know, your million dollar house turns into a $10 million house, and your business that was doing 50 million last year is now doing a billion. And so that's how it goes. So you're not, it's a constant process, and it's following, like, the discipline of the skill sets that you're developing over time and then getting better at these things that gives you the spoils of all these great materialistic or, you know, better relationships and things like that. So that's, that, that's my take on that kind of dichotomy. [00:37:46] Speaker D: Yeah. Well, and Joe, I think you highlighted something really important, is that we all sort of set the result as the destination, but the destination is actually the journey. The journey is the destination. Not the house, the car. [00:38:02] Speaker C: And the crazy thing is, too, you get those stuff and they don't mean anything to you. Like, no fleet. I've seen it firsthand. Like, I've wanted stuff so bad, I. And now that I have it, I was just like, all right, whatever. And it's not like I want another one or I want a bigger. How I want this. It's like, all right, well, dude, I want to keep going. I want to work harder. I want to try this, and I want to get better in this area. I'm going to get better. And then things just start coming to you. It's really an amazing process. And I get on everybody about this. It's so simple. Start waking up early, wake up at, like, 435 o'clock in the morning, and stop drinking, don't drink anymore, and work out. If you can do these three things, your whole life will change dramatically. It's that easy. Sorry if it's gotten into your coaching, but, like, that's the hack. Three things. If you do those three things and then come talk to me in a year, you are going to be a completely different person, and you're going to achieve goals that you've never thought fathomable, I promise you. [00:39:12] Speaker B: There's a saying to know and to not do is to not know. Right? And I think that, you know, if they, if any, if we knew, we would do it right there. If you know, you would do it. I think the whole part about coaching is. Is helping them to chip away at that. What's stopping. What's stopping you from doing? [00:39:29] Speaker C: You don't know now you know. Okay, what's that? To quote biggie, if you don't know now, you know. [00:39:39] Speaker D: I agree with you 100%. But I also, you know, the other thing to come back to for someone maybe that's been waking up at 08:00 and for them to get up at 430, they'll do it for a week, but they're gonna stop doing it. So this is where that concept of progressively building into it, I do think is important. Do you know what I mean? Once again? [00:40:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:00] Speaker D: I don't disagree. Everything you said is right. I get up at 430. It's my favorite time of day to get up. I love being in the gym at 05:00 there's no one in there. I'm all alone. You know, I love being healthy, all that. But there's this world where most people, that's not their life. Coaching someone or you're coaching someone, it's almost like, hey, let's get up at 730 for one week, right? And all I want you to do is put on your gym shoes. That's it. All right. You did 730 for a week. Now we're going to go seven. Now we're going to, you know, so progressively working towards that is, I think, the key to. Right. [00:40:40] Speaker C: That that's. I agree with you a million percent. That leads me to, oh, he just upped you. [00:40:46] Speaker B: You agree with him a thousand percent. [00:40:50] Speaker C: Is spot on, because this drives home my main point. It is not for everybody. We're not all lions, dude. There were not all lines. There's maybe 1%. Everybody else is sheep. There's 1% that will do it. And, like, you can tell them over and over and over and over and over again, and if they don't have it in them, they're not gonna do it. And where inspiration wanes, that's where your determination and your discipline kicks in and takes you to the next level. And not everybody has it. And you can bang your head against the wall trying to convince the masses of, like, oh, do this or you're gonna get better. And the fact is, they're just not gonna do it. It's bottom. [00:41:33] Speaker B: You know what's funny, though, Joe? I think you make another. I agree with you, a billion percent. All right. But I will say is this. Individually, everyone has more to give, more potential, more that they can accomplish if they unlock certain, if they unblock themselves, as to use the term Scott was using earlier, like, okay, yes, we're not all built to be president of the United States, but that doesn't mean that there's not more there that you can get out of yourself and out of life. And I think that, yes, if you were preaching to the masses, I don't think coaching works by putting an article in the New York Times every single day and expecting everyone who reads it to automatically turn into high potential, high producing humans. I think it's that one on one or small, like that human connection where you can help someone again just get a little bit better every day. A little bit better every day. And no, they may not all become Joe, I know, but they might just get a little bit better. [00:42:43] Speaker D: And, Joe, I think the other thing I'll throw out there, too, is that I think sometimes this is a level of comparison mindset of lion, sheep, and all this stuff. Instead, let's throw all that out and just say happy. Like, if the goal is to just be happy, they don't need to get up at 430, you know? And, and in some ways, that's what I'm trying to instill in my coaching, right, is how do we actually make the goal to just be happy versus get up at 430? Lose this pounds, dude, it, right. And I think that's this, like, process that I think I want to make sure I push forward and for people is I actually want you to just be goal is be happier. And that's our measurement of success. Are you gaining in happiness right now? [00:43:32] Speaker C: The idea, the idea of the wake up early and the workout and all this is that forcing yourself to do something difficult or uncomfortable every day, if you do it the first thing of your day, then the rest of the day is easy. But that's what I talk about this all the time, too. A lot of the entrepreneurs, a lot of, like, real successful people I know have suffered some sort of tragedy in their life, and that acts as the catalyst, and they're like, oh, I decided that I'm gonna live this day because of this and so forth. And it's like, I think that it sets something in your brain when something happens like that, that you have an awakening and then it kicks into a different gear and the, like, by doing, by getting up early, like, uncomfortably early and stuff like that, I think that that kind of triggers the same type of serotonin or something that you can do without having a tragedy. And that's, that helps people. But ultimately, like, happiness lies in success is like, doing, feeling accomplished, that you did something, and it's like the whole, like, make your bed every day type of situation and things like that, if you can do that, then, like, it adds up. And these are not huge things in the grand scheme of things. You know, like, these are little victories that add up. And then when the big things come, you're like, well, shit, I can get up early. I can stop doing. I do all stuff. [00:44:53] Speaker D: So, yeah, once again, I love everything you're saying. I don't disagree with it. It's just, yeah, like I said, I think sometimes people are too fixated on the success, the fill in the blank, and instead get fixated on the, if you fixate on the process, that's it. I just want you to fixate on the process, not the destination. [00:45:18] Speaker C: Yeah, I agree. [00:45:19] Speaker D: Yeah, agreed. [00:45:21] Speaker C: So when you were deciding that, okay, you're going to take the leap, you're going to go out on your own and do this. Talk to us about. Because one of the biggest things I know with business owners, entrepreneurs, like, I have this great idea, and I think that we kind of touched on, maybe inadvertently here, like, but, like, what's, like, what's the monetization plan? Like, how do I get people? How do I have this idea? I know I can help people do this. [00:45:49] Speaker D: Like, next. [00:45:50] Speaker C: Like, how am I gonna make a living doing it? What was that process for you? Like, and is that continually refining or. [00:45:57] Speaker D: Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm probably about 45 days out, and, you know, I mean, obviously getting everything set up. You're bleeding money right now. Startup world, right? [00:46:08] Speaker C: Sure. [00:46:08] Speaker D: Yeah. So there's anxiety at night when you go to bed. So the way that I'm structuring it, and I'll use a crawl, walk run kind of analogy, right in this crawl phase, which I'm barely out of the womb right now, my number one goal is basically to start to build my community of people. And the goal there is, let's make sure I create a program that's very inexpensive, very accessible for most people, and provides a ton of value for what they're paying. So that's a program I'm calling the happier human, and that's a program designed to allow for scale. Like, there's a lot of people, but how do I actually, and I'm in that. I'm creating intimacy, connection, community, accountability, etcetera. [00:46:58] Speaker C: Right. [00:46:59] Speaker D: So that's the base layer of the coaching. On top of that, the next layer I'm doing is I'm taking a little twist on traditional one on one coaching. Once again, my view on traditional one on one coaching is that sometimes it can be really intimidating for people or very expensive. So what I'm allowing for is either either one on one coaching at a certain price, or if you want to bring two people into that same price bracket, you'll split it. Or I actually, this is what's actually been really popular is I will actually coach your team one week, you the next week, your team the next week, you the next week. And that's actually been extremely popular because of the fact that a lot of team leaders are struggling right now and how to provide value to their team. This is a really easy way where they, most people aren't trainers, aren't coaches. This way, they can hire me. I come in, I teach the team, but then I work with the team leader on elevating their leadership. So between the happier human, and then I'm calling this the flex one on one program because it can flex to different things. On top of that, I'm going to have different, we'll call them sprints, right where there's going to be a seven week course on how to build a repeat referral business. So there's going to be like little stints of options along those. So that's how I'm starting. I'm going to be scaling it financially in the crawl phase as I start to walk. The other goal is going to be to bring other coaches into the ecosystem who specialize in things I don't specialize in finance and management, mortgages, let's say title insurance, whatever the category might be. Nutrition, health and wellness, meditation. If I can create again, that's why I called it with heart coaching is that this can become this ecosystem, that there anything I want to improve my life I can go to with heart and find an expert that is at with heart. And for the expert, I'm taking off the management. You know, the paying bills, the scheduling, I'm taking off that load. So almost picture like a brokerage for coaches. [00:49:13] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:14] Speaker D: Right. And then on the, the run phase that's, that's off in the future. That's where I envision us doing, you know, sort of this all encompassing community based thing where we're actually trying to change the world. So. But that's. I don't want to talk about that because that's a little far in the distance and I gotta, I gotta focus. [00:49:34] Speaker C: On probably it'll come quicker than you think. Yeah, guarantees for sure. [00:49:42] Speaker B: I completely agree. Well, Scott, I think this was an awesome conversation. We didn't get to it all, as always, but I think we got to a lot, man. And I appreciate you hanging out with us and we wish you the best luck. We can't wait to have you on again. And in the meantime, enjoy your journey, enjoy what you're doing and we'll hopefully we'll catch up again. [00:50:06] Speaker C: Where can people find you if they want to work? [00:50:09] Speaker D: So my programs can be found on my website with heart coaching.com. so pretty simple. You can also follow me on Instagram, which is at Sky Michaels, which is spelled a little differently as we talked about. Sky. E m I c h I e l s. So those are two places to find me and I'm thrilled to help anyone in any industry with anything that they need help with. [00:50:35] Speaker C: So awesome, man. [00:50:37] Speaker B: Very cool, Joe, thanks for that. Way to throw that in at the end, my man. Always looking out of. All right, guys, thanks. Enjoy your week. [00:50:45] Speaker C: Thanks, brother. [00:50:47] Speaker A: Thanks for listening to selling the dream. We know you don't want to miss a single episode, so go subscribe today wherever you get your podcasts, and then make sure to share the show with your friends and leave us a review.