Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: All right, we had a pretty good episode today. Hopefully guys are going to enjoy it. Sam Simmons from exp. We talk a lot about entrepreneurship. We got into some fun stuff. We got to do. The difference between I'm sorry and I apologize and Joe had a classic callback at the end of the, at the end of the episode.
[00:00:19] Speaker B: It was, it was a fun one. This is a, this is a good, good listen for sure.
[00:00:23] Speaker A: Yeah, a lot of laughs. A lot of laughs. All right, enjoy.
[00:00:35] Speaker C: You're listening to Selling the Dream. This isn't an interview and we're not journalists, but each week we'll ask our guests to open up and share their secrets to business success. Let's have a conversation and have some fun.
[00:00:50] Speaker A: Hey, everybody. Welcome to Selling the Dream. You your podcast. If you're interested in selling, if you're interested in entrepreneurship, if you're interested in leadership, here at Selling Dream, you like to have a good time. And speaking of a good time, I'm joined by my co host from California. Are in California, from Delaware County, Joe Ardell. What's going on, Joe?
[00:01:11] Speaker B: What's up, man? Just having a good time, brother. That's what I'm doing. That's what I'm here for.
[00:01:16] Speaker A: How's life on the West Coast?
[00:01:18] Speaker B: It's, it's lovely, dude. Always, always beautiful. Weather's usually pretty good.
Got a, got a lot of travel coming up and. Yeah, man, life's good, brother.
[00:01:31] Speaker A: Not to get political, but your governor is like the, the front runner for maybe running for president.
[00:01:37] Speaker B: Depends on which face because he's got several. Yeah. So I don't know. I've never, I don't want to get. Well, I will get political. That guy's a snake. I said, I said, making the grass, bro.
He thinks that. He thinks the things he said four years ago will just go away. And all of a sudden he's turned a new leaf.
[00:01:58] Speaker A: But yeah, I don't know.
[00:02:00] Speaker B: He's Nancy Pelosi's nephew. I'll see.
[00:02:05] Speaker A: We're joined by a pretty cool host today. Guest today.
This is someone that I have worked with now for, I don't know, four or five years, maybe, maybe a little bit longer. But very fortunate to have a front row seat to this, to this young lady's career as she has grown from a brand new agent when I met her to one of the top agents in our marketplace and a leader in the industry and a mentor to many and an inspiration to all. How do you like that set up there? Welcome to Sam Simmons from Exp Realty Sam, thank you very much for hanging out with us today.
[00:02:50] Speaker D: What an intro. Ken. Thank you. I'm blushing.
[00:02:56] Speaker A: Sam, I was hoping to start. You could share a little bit about your background. You know, the early days and you know, kind of what, what led you to or how did you find. How did you end up, you know, in the mortgage or, excuse me, in the real estate business.
[00:03:16] Speaker D: Sure.
So I am going into my six year of real estate. Actually. March marks my, my six year anniversary and I'm coming from. I worked for, for Wawa for about 10 years actually. So I started in the stores when I was 16 years old.
Yeah, Gotta love.
Yeah, right. They're all over the place now. I don't think we're on the west coast now yet.
[00:03:45] Speaker B: Unfortunately not. No. I have to culture right there.
[00:03:48] Speaker A: She just said we. Like she still feels like she's part. So she said we not.
[00:03:54] Speaker D: Yeah, it's like so part of you, Sam.
[00:03:58] Speaker B: It's part of me and I live in California. I love.
[00:04:02] Speaker D: We'll be there eventually, I'm sure, but sooner than later.
Yeah. No. I was in the stores for about seven years and I learned a whole lot that I didn't think was even going to be relevant in whatever I ended up doing one day. But a lot of it actually turned out to be very helpful.
I went from the stores to corporate and then I worked at the call center for two, maybe three years.
And that was like a whole different side of like, it was not like the retail aspect at all. It was a whole different side of the industry.
[00:04:34] Speaker A: And was it customer service, call center scene? Was it inbound calls? Was it.
[00:04:39] Speaker D: It was.
[00:04:39] Speaker A: What was your role there?
[00:04:41] Speaker D: It was inbound calls and it was a little bit of everything. I think there was six different like categories of calls that we would answer. So there was like tech calls that we would get from the stores and you know, the people that worked in the stores that needed help with things. There was like emergency calls we would get from the stores at Central Station was. Was that line. That's the emergency line. There was customer service calls, which was a whole lot of them.
There was all kinds of things. And you never knew unless you were at Central Station, which was the emergency line. So you always knew some shit was going to hit the fan when you answered your phone. But if you weren't at Central Station centralization, you never knew what call you were getting like on your, on your phone. Like it could be a 45 minute call of somebody cursing you out about the stupidest thing or it could Be like somebody trying to figure out some technical thing with, you know, in the computer system that you have to navigate and troubleshoot.
So it was definitely a whole different thing. It was.
It was a great job, great benefits. Wawa is a really great company to work for. And Wawa set me up. It was really my foundation for everything that came next.
But it wasn't for me especially, like, the corporate aspect of things. Like, I just. There's so many rules. There's so much you have to learn and do and follow, and you're working so much for somebody else to be, like, a millionaire. And not only that, if anyone knows me, I am just not the type of person that, like, I don't like apologizing for things that I'm not sorry for or something that I didn't do or like. Interesting people were call me and complain about the. And this is where you really start to realize, like, people will have time on their hands to call and complain about the smallest things that really did not matter when there's so much other things going on in the world. So it really put things into perspective for me. And I love customer service, and I. I love that aspect of things, but just not the corporate side of things. So when I got pregnant with my son, I was 25, and it was right after I bought my first house. I actually bought my first house because I was having a baby and I wanted to give him a home. It's kind of something I never had, like a stable home, like, one home. You know, I was always moving around as a child, so that was my goal for him. Purchased my house and seven. And I was seven months pregnant. I had my son. And as I was leaving for maternity leave, I was like, I'm not going back there. Like, I just could not wrap my head around coming home after, like, a long day, getting yelled at by people that just are just not people that I want to be talking to. And then to my baby, who's so precious and was, like, about to change my whole world. So it was really like a quality of life thing for me at that moment. And I was fortunate enough that my partner at the time is my husband now. He was in an industry. He was driving trucks, and he was able to kind of hold us over so that I could quit my job. So I literally bought my house, had a baby, and quit my job right after.
And it was just.
[00:07:57] Speaker B: It was very important you do those sequences in the proper way. Otherwise the whole thing. KJ will tell you.
[00:08:04] Speaker A: I will tell you, yes, I didn't even have a job.
[00:08:10] Speaker B: Until you buy the house.
[00:08:12] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
So let's talk about a couple things there. Just what you learned, you know, and Joe and I both have kind of a similar experience when it comes to call center. You know, call center slash telemarketing. I think what really helped us was the ability to connect with people, read people, understand inflection. Like, how much of the call center experience, as much as it was like, an unpleasant experience. But at the end of the day, how much do you learn in call center about how to manage the real estate business that you have today?
[00:08:50] Speaker D: Oh, my goodness. And I don't. You don't even really realize until you sit down somebody actually asks you this question, you know, but, like, creative problem solving is definitely one of the strengths that I took away from working in that particular call center and just having to be quick and figure things out. And also just being the one that, like every. Everybody's looking at or somebody is turning to and they're looking at you for answers, whether or not you have them. You have to figure out how to get them, where to get them quickly, and all at the same time while managing emotions because they're calling, usually with a problem.
So managing my emotions because I just want to be like, are you kidding me right now?
You don't have nothing then to complain about the damn cheese missing on the hoagie right now and scream at me for it. Like, I had to keep all of that in, which was very hard for me, and I had to be professional, and I had to keep a certain tone, and I had to keep control of the conversation. And that's hard when there's so much emotion or anger or whatever it may be coming from the other side, and they are calling to direct it at you whether or not it's your fault. So that. That all was something that I didn't even realize I was. I was getting from being in that position until after the fact, if that makes sense.
[00:10:18] Speaker B: How do. How do you keep the balance of still being, I guess, empathetic and then just completely callous? And I share. I asked this question because I had an experience flying on Frontier Airline, which I'll never do again. And they had so, like, the plane was delayed or whatever forever, and there was a line of, like, 8 million people going up to the desk, talking to the gate agents. And these gate agents, they were so stone cold could not care because they've had so many. Like, there was so many people with the same sensitized. You could have. You could have been, like, had your head hanging off, and they would have. Like, well, I'm sorry. Like, that's just how it is. Like, so sorry to hear about your head. Yeah, exactly. Like, so that. That role. I'm always. It's always like, crazy to, like, find that balance. Like, how do you feel that you found that balance between empathy and just being callous?
[00:11:16] Speaker D: It's tough.
So the art of detachment, like, really practicing the art of detachment. And I think that, like, even in my personal life, I've had to learn the art of detachment and just to survive, if that makes sense. So, like, transferring that over into. Because there were a few times when I worked at the call center when I had people screaming at me and cursing at me. And maybe one time I. I actually cried after I got off the phone. And because it's hard, especially I'm an empath. Like, I feel it all. So it's hard to be all of those things in one person. So. But after that, that time that I cried and I was so upset, and I really, like, brought it home with me. And then I realized, like, that has nothing to do with me. Like, that was really all their problem, and I was just a punching bag. And again, that just art of detachment and just realizing this is my job and I can only do so much. I can only do so much to help this person. And if that is not enough for them, that is very unfortunate. But I did the best that I could. And I'm still going to keep a smile in my voice like it comes.
[00:12:30] Speaker A: I think that a huge. A huge. One of my favorite lines ever know when it comes to empathy versus guilt. Right? Like, if you did something wrong, you should feel guilty.
[00:12:46] Speaker B: Right.
[00:12:46] Speaker A: But if you're just showing empathy, it sounds the same. And as it goes, I'm sorry and I apologize mean the same thing. Unless you're at a funeral.
Right. Get it?
[00:12:59] Speaker B: Yes.
If you're at a funeral and you.
[00:13:02] Speaker A: Woke up, you're like, okay, yeah, I apologize. They need two very, very different things, right?
[00:13:09] Speaker D: Yeah.
[00:13:10] Speaker A: And I think that. I think it's the. It's the. It's the. The same thing in.
[00:13:16] Speaker B: There's a couple context where that. That's not quite right. But.
[00:13:19] Speaker D: Okay, now I thought about that for a second.
[00:13:23] Speaker A: You're here.
It's like. But they are.
[00:13:27] Speaker D: And.
[00:13:28] Speaker A: And in customer service sales, without a doubt, as you know, you're wearing a customer service hat. Frequently you're dealing with people's expectations being mismanaged. A lot of times not by you, but you have to Be able to separate the two. You have to be able to say, I'm sorry. You have to be able to empathize with them without feeling guilty for how they feel. Right? And that's a skill. That's a muscle that takes a while for people to learn, especially in sales.
And it's one that if you don't learn it, it will break you. It will absolutely break you. Far too often, salespeople take on the responsibility of they take weight. We call it 100% responsibility. Don't take less than 100% responsibility, and don't take more than 100% responsibility. Right. It doesn't mean you can't be empathetic to their situation. But if you're taking on more than 100% responsibility for the. For the challenge that you guys are facing, then all you're doing is hurting yourself, and you're really not showing up as effectively as you could be for your client if you're over here beating yourself up for something you didn't even do. You know what I mean?
[00:14:41] Speaker D: A hundred percent. One hundred percent. And get, like, rolling that over into real estate, like, honestly, in my first year or two, I felt every transaction, like, thoroughly through my body. Like, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, like, like everything I was doing negotiations, like, things, like, starting to fall apart, like, everybody's anxiety and stress, I was feeling all of that. But I realized that losing the sleep over it and stressing out over it and everything was making me a little bit more delirious and less able to figure out the issues.
So I had to learn in real estate to practice that art of detachment is what I refer to it as, while also still being very present and empathetic and with my. With my clients. And it is definitely an art that takes a while to really. And I mean, I'm not going to say I have it down all the time, but it's something that takes a while to really get there.
[00:15:42] Speaker A: It's good that you had that practice at Wawa, too, in that role that gave you. You kind of were like, okay, I remember how to do this now. You know, we just had to kind of realize it. So you're at Wawa, right? You're in this customer service role. Junior's born. Great kid.
Joe, you'd like him. He's a big ball of energy.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: That's good.
[00:16:07] Speaker A: He's smart. Smart kid, too.
I'm like, well, Joe's actually pretty smart. I do give him credit for that.
He's incredible. One of my favorite stories, Joe, was When someone asked you to name as many words as you could in a minute. Right. Do you know what Joe did?
[00:16:30] Speaker D: What?
[00:16:32] Speaker B: I started counting as fast as I could. And they're like, we didn't ask you to count. He said numbers are words.
[00:16:39] Speaker D: Yeah, I mean, straight to the point, right?
[00:16:42] Speaker A: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. That's genius.
[00:16:47] Speaker B: The backstory of that too. I was in like second grade and it got me into like the academic like some sort of like smart kid thing that I had to go away for.
[00:16:56] Speaker D: Some smart kid thing?
[00:16:57] Speaker B: Yeah, it was like whatever. One of those testing things to like test if you're gifted or whatever.
[00:17:03] Speaker D: So there you go.
[00:17:04] Speaker B: Like, no one's ever done that. I'm like, well, that one's as smart as me. Whatever.
[00:17:08] Speaker A: He brought over certificate this. Mom, I'm special.
[00:17:14] Speaker D: I won the spelling bee in sixth grade.
[00:17:16] Speaker A: Nice.
[00:17:17] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:17:17] Speaker A: I couldn't. I couldn't win a sixth grade spelling bee today.
[00:17:21] Speaker D: Yeah, right.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: Spelling is atrocious.
[00:17:24] Speaker D: I remember this very vividly. Like I won the spelling bee for my grade and I went to Newman College for like the state one or something to represent our school. And I, I could have won that whole spelling day, but I was so nervous and I. And my word was mechanic and I spelled it M E, K. And as soon as I said K, I was like, oh my God. And everything was over from there. My first word, I was out.
So that's my little story and I'm sticking to it.
[00:17:54] Speaker A: You know what word gets me? Calendar. I can't get.
[00:17:58] Speaker D: That's such a random one.
[00:18:00] Speaker A: It is. That one gets E, C, E, R.
[00:18:04] Speaker B: D, A, R. I think I've spelled that so many times incorrectly that like my autocorrect when I spell it doesn't work anymore unless there's ways to spell it because I have a hard time with that one too.
[00:18:16] Speaker A: Colander. It always autocorrects the colander.
[00:18:21] Speaker B: The lady that makes the pies, she spells her differently too.
[00:18:25] Speaker A: I can't get that one. Man, I struggle. I struggle. Anyway, anyway, digress. Back off our tangent. Tangent train. Okay, so. So Junior's born. Buy a house. Which is awesome at your age. At that time, it was a huge deal to be buying a house. The average first time buyer right now is like 37 years old today. And back then it was like 34. Right. So to be a 25 years old homeowner, big step. Probably felt pretty empowering. That in and of itself probably felt pretty empowering. What did that feel like when you.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: Bought that first home?
[00:18:57] Speaker D: I mean, Empowering is the word. Especially like for myself. I'm someone who never even imagined owning a home, especially so young. So I, I think that was like one, like my, it was my corporate job was like the first thing that made me feel like, okay, I'm a grown up. I got this, like, I'm worthy of like a cool, like, legitimate career. And then I bought a house and then I was just like, okay, I can, I think I might be able to do anything I want to do. Like, literally that was my mind.
And it was just.
Even though I quit my job right afterwards, I just was on some kind of high at that point.
[00:19:41] Speaker A: So you go and you get your real estate license, right?
You start. You really got off to a great start, if I remember correctly, right?
[00:19:51] Speaker D: Like, I think it was about six months in, I had my first transaction and after that I had like 2 and 3. And the ball was kind of rolling after that.
So. Yeah, I mean, who knew it? I, I didn't know. I, I failed my exam eight times. Honestly. Yeah, they're gonna, they're gonna take my license right back.
No, but like eight times in a matter of like, I don't know, whatever. I kept scheduling it as soon as I like, rescheduling as soon as I could. And I just kept getting. And I was crying every time, literally. The guy probably just felt bad for me by the time he gave me like two extra points so I could pass it that eighth time. But I, who would have knew? Like, yeah, it just came, it came naturally for me. And I realized, like, so there were so many more opportunities that could, that real estate could open up for me and my family and my future.
[00:20:43] Speaker A: So, yeah, so you, you, you began selling houses.
What was your, what do you think was the one part of your skill set that, that enabled you to be as successful? Was it your, is it your time management? Is it your communication skills? Is your determination? Like, what do you think was your secret sauce to, to the early success?
[00:21:11] Speaker D: It was not my time management and still not that I, I think my, I want to say either my ability to multitask and do like a lot of things at one time, but that is not good. It's not good time management. I cannot consider it that or my determination. I was very consistent and I haven't stopped since day one.
So that I think that one is key because if you're not consistent and you don't have that, that drive and that determination, it's going to be, it's going to take a lot longer to build your Business from the ground up.
[00:21:48] Speaker A: I was reading a book, John, I know you can relate to this. I was reading a book the other day. I'm actually reading Buy back your time is the book that I'm reading right now. But they talk about your teenage years and how people like how influential your teenage years are to your ability to succeed as an entrepreneur. Like there is studies with direct correlations between people who were forced to figure shit out essentially on their own as a teenager and the ability to have the grit, for lack of a better word, in entrepreneurship. And I want to talk about that for a couple of minutes because obviously all of us are entrepreneurs in our own fashion. I have been working for a corporation, but I run a team and my business and everything is on me.
I'll start with Joe and then I'll come to you, Sam. Do you think that there's, do you think there's truth to that, Joe? Like, can you go back to your teenage years and figure out like, hey, here was the chaos I was dealing with as a teenager, maybe self inflicted or self created chaos that had allowed you to succeed as an entrepreneur, right? Where structure is non existent.
[00:23:09] Speaker B: It is not only.
It's a self fulfilling prophecy really. So like the lack of skill sets that I had as a teenager did not afford me the ability to have a traditional educational path into a traditional career that everybody else had. Like, and I want it like, whatever, dude. Like, I would have loved to have been a straight A student and then gotten killed, you know, going to college and for being smart and you know, getting recruited by a company out of college and you know, that path, or go to law school, a doctor. But like that was not, that wasn't. I had to figure out other ways and it was, I couldn't get my homework done. So I was like, all right, show up to class. Like, how do I not get in trouble? How do I pass this class without having done my homework or assignments? Or like how do I get through this grade having never gone to class? Like, so these are things, like real things that just. And I wasn't like, I wasn't necessarily doing it to be like obstinate or like a rebel. Like, I just, it's almost like having writer's block where it's like you got to study for this test and it's like I physically couldn't do it. Like I would have rather have done jumped off a bridge than like sat down and studied for like an hour. It's impossible for me to do so. That's. So all of that like, it's almost becomes like a coping mechanism. Or like you be, you adapt. Like if you're blind, then your sense of hearing is greater, other sense, you know, that type of situation. So that's like truly what makes an entrepreneur, like you figure out different pathways to accomplish the end goal is like, we want to be comfortable, we want to not have to worry about money and our time and everything like that. So the vehicle that you create is either a traditional job or you have to find out some other way to do that. And like the other way to do that for entrepreneurs is, all right, this is my monthly nut that I have to have to make this much money this month to afford what I want. How do I do it? And like that you start there. And so the skill sets you develop as a kid and you know, as you go through life, like, that's what gets that goal done. So 100%, it starts when you're, I think even before you're a teenager. I think as a kid. I remember in first grade, you know, everybody doing things one way and me doing it the other because I couldn't do it the way that everybody was supposed to be doing it.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: And not only that, Joe, like, if you think about it like you, you were one of how many kids?
[00:25:40] Speaker B: Six.
[00:25:41] Speaker A: And you're the middle.
[00:25:43] Speaker B: Middle. Yeah.
[00:25:44] Speaker A: So think about that for a minute, right? Like your, your, your brother, your older siblings got the attention that they needed because they were the only ones there. By the time your younger siblings were coming along, you were kind of forced. And this is typical middle child syndrome, right? Like you're kind of forced to figure things out on your own too, because now your parents are spending so much attention, because they have to on your younger siblings that you do. You kind of fly under the radar and you're like, you know, I'll make my own dinners, whatever.
[00:26:17] Speaker B: Well, they were also too. My older siblings were like traditional students. And you know, they did everything like they were good students in school, they were responsible. And then like, I came along and I'm the only one in my family that's left handed. I'm like, there's so many like opposites of everybody else. And it was like, it's like, you know, I had to, I just had to do things differently. I still do even when we work together, like in the past, dude, like, I wasn't doing things the way that everybody else was doing them. And it's.
Couldn't do it. I was really successful, but I was successful in a different way. And it drove People nuts. They were like, wow, why can't you do this? Like, just do it like this. I'm like, dude, I can't do it like that. Like, I'm a terrible employee. I'll get the result. But I can't do it the way that everybody else is doing it because that's not. It doesn't suit me.
[00:27:06] Speaker D: So, I mean, I think learning to embrace your strengths and what you are good at is that in itself is a strength. And that is something that is, I think, part of that entrepreneurial mindset.
[00:27:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:22] Speaker D: Because not everyone is able to look at their weaknesses and still use them, in a sense, towards bettering themselves, if that makes sense.
[00:27:34] Speaker B: It's spread out, a necessity. It's not. I don't think it's a choice. I think it literally, it's either I'm gonna go broke and not eat, or I gotta figure this out. And, like, that's how it goes. Fight or flight.
[00:27:46] Speaker A: Sam, does that theory resonate with you where, like, you kind of were, you know, forced to deal with chaos in your teenage years, and do you feel like that has served you as a salesperson, as an entrepreneur, as someone who's building a business in real estate?
[00:28:03] Speaker D: Yeah, definitely. I think what you said earlier, the word grit, that word is so powerful. And you can kind of tell when, like, I don't know about you, but I think that I work better and just vibe better in general with other people who have that quality or who have had some kind of struggle that they've had to overcome or learn through. Because you do develop so many skills through that struggle. If you're a certain type of person, some people, the struggle can hold you back and hold you down and make you go one way. And for me, like, I could have ended up really, really messed up. It was either going to be really, really good or really, really bad. There was no in between. There was no in between for me.
So, I mean, I was. I didn't have. I didn't grow up with six siblings or anything, but I was an only child, and my mother was a single mother, and she had me at 17. So we basically grew up together. I mean, the fact that she had me and, you know, chose to keep me was something I'll always be thankful for because my father chose otherwise.
However, it wasn't easy growing up with a teenage mother, and we both learned a lot through it. We're definitely at a different spot today than we were. But, I mean, growing up, I had to. I had to grow up faster than I wanted. To and needed to. I had to be and act like a grown up at times. And I had to figure things out.
And I was alone a lot of the time. Not alone, but I mean, essentially alone to just figure everything out. So yeah, it's either you sink or you swim. I mean, you're gonna be hungry or you're gonna go and eat. Like, I think that that definitely has helped set me up for success in this industry because it's like I quit, I bought a house, I had a baby. I had this whole vision of I'm going to create this life for my son. I want to farm, I want to live so much differently. This family, this home for him to know is his home. And then I quit my job.
Like what? Like, but I don't even know. Like, I just knew there was something in me that knew I have to make this work. I'm going to make, I'm going to figure it out one way or another. And if I can't, I'm going to figure out another way. Like, I mean there's, I mean that's just. Was my mindset and so felt like I was jumping off of a cliff, literally. But I somehow knew I was gonna be okay and I had to go get it. So I went and got it. So, yeah, I had the baby on my hip trying to build a career I knew nothing about. After I failed the test eight times, I just kept going out there. I just kept connecting with people that I wanted to be like that I wanted to do, you know, what they were doing and have the level of success or happiness, security, freedom that they had. I just kept asking questions and popping my head up and showing up wherever I could.
[00:31:05] Speaker B: You had mentioned on your customer service role, your ability to problem solve on the spot. And I think that that, like, you know, in a nutshell, everything you just described is essentially what stems from that is your ability to, to figure, have to figure stuff out because it's not in the traditional constructs of how things should be. So like, you come from a untraditional background and there's things that get presented to you that you have to figure out that there's not a blueprint to do like everybody else has. It's like, okay, this is how I do it. So that's a, that's definitely, you know, obvious. And how you've been successful is your ability to problem solve and figure stuff out and so forth. So that that kind of, you can, you know, in your description, I used.
[00:31:50] Speaker D: To think about things. It's really like A mindset thing, because I never. I never considered my ability to work through problems and creatively problem solve on the spot a strength until more recently in my life. I used to look at things like, I always have some shit to go through. I always am. I always have a hurdle. Like, as soon as I think everything's okay, like, something else happens. Like, I literally used to say, I'm walking around waiting for a piano to drop on my head. Like, and the pianos kept dropping.
I kept figuring out. And then I got to a certain point that I was like, you know what? I can't stop the pianos from dropping, but I can put a helmet on or, you know, I can figure out other ways to get around this and.
[00:32:32] Speaker B: Learn to play the piano.
[00:32:34] Speaker D: Yeah, learn to play the piano. Exactly.
[00:32:39] Speaker B: And you gotta learn pianos. Let's go.
[00:32:41] Speaker D: The strangest analogy, but that's how my mind works. Yeah.
[00:32:45] Speaker A: So, but, but that brings me to another thing you talked about. I think, Joe, you kind of touched on it too, is like leaning into your strengths versus. Versus leaning into your weaknesses. For whatever reason, I feel like conventional wisdom is to work on the things you're not good at, fix the things you're not good at. Right. And. And I, I don't. I'm not saying that's. That, that's correct. I just feel like that's what most people think you're supposed to do. Right. Whereas I think that.
Right.
[00:33:17] Speaker B: Whatever. Yeah.
[00:33:17] Speaker A: Maybe that's because it's what we're being told. It's what we're being told in school. Your handwriting sucks. So you're gonna sit here and you're gonna work on your handwriting for four hours until you have good handwriting, when meanwhile, I'm never gonna have good handwriting. And I just wasted four hours where I could have been getting better at something I'm already good at. And I think that that's another trait of salespeople and entrepreneurs, at least the successful ones that, that make that consciously or not, I don't know, but they make that decision and say, hey, I'm just going to get better at what I'm good at and not try and get better.
[00:33:51] Speaker B: Are you ready to go down, down the wormhole here a little bit?
[00:33:55] Speaker A: Let's go. Let's go.
[00:33:57] Speaker B: This is, this is the industrial complex that creates worker bees. Right. And it starts, it's from time and testimony where we get all of the people to work at a certain level. And so, like, the reason why kids are in school all day is because the workers could be in the factories and Things like that, the stuff that they learn in school, they could learn two hours a day. They don't need to be there all day. But who's going to watch the kids when the people are working? So though, everything that's been pushed on society is to get all of the workforce and the skill sets homogenized. So we have like a, you know, a workforce, right? So like, if you are okay, you don't have to be excellent at anything to be in the workforce because it just gets pushed into, like, molded into one particular way to be. And we can manage tons of people with that, with minimal outliers. So once you understand that everyone's being indoctrinated to work a certain way to have decent handwriting, like, doesn't have to be great, doesn't have to, but can't be terrible, or like that. Once you realize that, you can break out of that and say, I am good at this. And I'm going against this mainstream homogenization of how my skill set should be. I shouldn't. I don't need to go to school. Like, why do I need to go to school? Why do I need to go to college when I can make the same amount of money selling hot dogs on the corner? Literally. So, like, that's, that's what's been. The society has pushed this on people to keep the masses controlled. And that's a hundred percent what our whole system is set up to be. And when you can understand that, break away from being a worker. Be. And it's the old adage, if you don't start working on your dreams right now, someone's going to put you to work to work on theirs tomorrow. So that's the key. All of this stuff, it's all, it's all done by design.
[00:35:54] Speaker D: So, you know, I completely agree. And I think that once I got into real estate, opened my eyes to so much that I was like, why, why didn't I learn any of this in school? Why like this? I almost feel like I was set up. You just wasted all my time. Because I don't remember none of the stuff you told me in science and Adams and you know, all this. I don't remember. I'm not using none of that. That never worked for me.
What I did, what I. The only subject I was really good at was, was writing. I like to write. I like to express myself. I like to communicate.
But investing and financing, credit and buying a house on stuff. Why, why isn't any of that talked about in school? And that's when I Started to be, I think it was like two years in to real estate and I was like, oh, I got the hang of this. This is really awesome and I love it. And how come I didn't learn about sooner? And I want to tell more people about this industry and make it better and all this stuff. And I did. The new agent boot Ken partnered with me for that. And that was just telling other people about, hey, real estate is a career and it has, it opens up doors to so many other things. And this is what it's about. And this is how I got started. And it was, it was pretty cool to share that with people.
[00:37:07] Speaker A: Like, you're red pilling a bunch of people. Like, they're all like, oh, I gotta go to work every single day. And doing the, doing the. You know what Joe's saying? The worker being, you're like, wait, listen, everybody listen. I got something, something. I got another idea.
[00:37:18] Speaker B: Yeah, here's the key, dude. You can tell I can, I can better articulate what I just said, like to a million people. And maybe one person would, would understand it and then, oh, yeah, less than one person will act on it. So, so there's a matter of like acknowledging. Yeah, that's how it is. And then everybody just goes back to their comfort. Like, oh, okay. Like, because it's scary as, dude. Like, if you getting back to your original point of like, what a teenage experience gives you when you're in an uncomfortable is, it gives you the confidence to be able to deal, be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. So it's not like a desensitization of it, but it's a, it's a confidence that, like, all right, I've been here before, dude. Like, I know like shit's hitting the fan and like, I know I'm going to be, be fine because my skill sets are such. And like, I've been in worse positions, you know, when I was a kid or like, whatever. So I know I can like work my way out of this. Whereas most people will not take that leap because they are afraid the second it gets a little bit uncomfortable, they're like, oh, I don't know, what are people going to say? Or I'm going to like, upset over here. I'm going to tip the apple cart that I currently have. Then they, they draw back right away and they're like, nope. So that's, you know, what's die.
[00:38:35] Speaker A: You know what's interesting, Joe, and this is something I've been thinking a lot about over the last couple of months is safety and Familiarity, Right, like, and there's a lot of examples where people will choose familiarity because it's perceived to be safe and it's what they know. Right? And there's numerous examples all over the country of people who are in toxic, abusive relationships that don't leave because even though where they are is not right for them, where they are is what they know and what they know is what they consider to be safe. The, the unknown is scarier than what you know. Right? And I think that, that, that is exactly true. That's exactly true.
[00:39:17] Speaker B: Percent look what, I mean, look, in the last five years, think about all of the scare tactics that we get jammed down our throat on the news every day. That's what, that's what controls people. It's fear. Fear, fear, fear. Because people don't. They, they would rather be comfortable. And what's worse than comfort is complacency. Is they rather go with the status quo and not do anything because it's like, ah, that, that feels uncomfortable. I don't want to get out. Like, I'm just gonna stay here.
[00:39:50] Speaker A: What I'm, what I'm driving at here is our upbringing. Let's say, let's say the three of us can all safely say that we had some chaos in our teenage years, which has served us. Is it, you know, to your point, Joe, is it a conscious, like top down, you know, conspiracy to keep everybody, you know working?
[00:40:09] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:40:10] Speaker A: Is it just that like, like, and, and here, all right, here's my question. Is your, is your comfort in chaos a strength versus someone else who didn't have to experience that chaos or when they find themselves in that? Not the choice so much as that whole familiarity equals safety thing. They're just not familiar with chaos. Whereas maybe we're familiar with chaos, which means that. Do we find ourselves creating chaos in our businesses? Because chaos is comfort and more importantly, it doesn't ever hold us back because we keep creating chaos when we don't necessarily need it. But it's because all we know is chaos and that's where we find safety and comfort. Is there a hazard there?
[00:41:00] Speaker B: Yeah, there's. I, I know what you're getting at.
[00:41:02] Speaker D: Are you coming to me? I think no, this is a setup, like.
[00:41:11] Speaker B: Talking about two different things here. One is self sabotage. All right, so self sabotage, creating false obstacles and things to prevent your success. Like in your business where things are going great and you're just like self fulfilling prophecy and it gets scary to grow and take it to the next level. So you create these self sabotage things. That are like, whatever, but you say you. When you say you, I'm talking you.
[00:41:36] Speaker A: I think entrepreneurs do that. I think a lot of entrepreneurs do that.
[00:41:40] Speaker B: But so here's more importantly, because this is something that, that is more tangible. So the comfort in the chaos, it comes strictly from reps. Like, rep it out. Like, the more you do something, the better you get at it. So, like, and you know, I. I train with guys who are pretty. Pretty badass, right? And this, the adage is that you will never rise to the occasion. You only fall to the level of your training. So the more times that you do these things that are uncomfortable and you get the positive result or you get better at it, then the, the more it becomes almost like just muscle memory and you're able to go through it. So, like, think about a. A SEAL team that goes in and breaches a building and shoots up. You know, like, whatever, right? When they do it through the shoot house, like the first time, it's like, crazy, dude. Like, shit's everywhere. The thousandth time they've done it, it's boring. And it's like, okay, like, you know, they start noticing and everything slows down because the reps just get. So think about the most chaotic situation you could be in in a gunfight. And like, these guys have done it so many times that it's almost like not even. It's not even cerebral anymore. It just happened. So these same obstacles and chaotic things that happen in your life that if you are used to this and used to the process of solving these problems over and over and over and over again, it becomes methodical and like, whereas a new entrepreneur, someone trying this for the first time and feeling that level of uncomfortness, they're going to like fold, where you're just like, ah, fuck it, like, whatever, we'll figure this shit out. So that's. That's the difference.
[00:43:21] Speaker A: When you see me pointing my, my stylus at the screen, that's your cue. Like, I need to talk. It's my turn.
Say it. Do you have. Can you think of this in context of being a real estate agent where you're. You could deal with something today with so much more calm, cool and collectedness than day one, right? Like, like, other newer agents are like, oh my God. You're like, what are you freaking out for? Like, you know, like, this is just part of the process. Same problem, same solution, same time frame to get the problem solved. But because you've been through it, because you've had the reps, like Joe says, It's boring. It's in, in a, in a way it's just. Yeah, no big deal.
[00:44:00] Speaker D: Like we're like, like, you know, I'm. I'm primarily a listing agent and you know, a final walk through with the buyers the day of settlement, an hour before settlement and, you know, pipes bursting and the whole wall is wet and everything's fine. What? Everything's figureoutable. We're still gonna have settlement. What do you mean? It can be fixed. But that if that were to happen five years ago or in my first, second, third, fourth, whatever deal, I would have been in pieces because I had no idea. Like Di. I could figure it out. I could be the one with the power figured out. Now, five, six years later, I realized that sometimes I'm gonna have to do other people's jobs and the transactions. A lot of times other people that are involved in the transactions are going to drop the ball. So I have to stay on top of everything. And in every situ, in every transaction, there's always something that goes left, always that you can't expect or anticipate and. But it always gets figured out somehow. Like I, like, like I said, there's nights I lost sleep, I would cry, like trying to figure. Work through problems and transactions and figure everything out for everybody and knowing that all that weight was on me. But I would get through it and I would figure it out. And so I don't panic almost about any, just about anything. Unless there's like a dead body in my house or something like.
[00:45:21] Speaker A: And even then, it depends on who it is.
[00:45:23] Speaker B: If that were the case, would Kenny be apologizing or saying he's sorry? That's the real question.
[00:45:29] Speaker D: Even then, it's figureoutable, you know, with a dead body.
[00:45:33] Speaker B: I apologize.
[00:45:39] Speaker A: All right, all right, all right. Now we went on to read. This was awesome, by the way. This was a very cool conversation, Sam. I hope you come back so we can keep these types of conversations going. But we forgot. We forgot. I forgot. I forgot to do two truths and a lie. So we're gonna do it right now and we're gonna wrap up with two truths and a lie. So Sam, please give us three facts. I'll hold my opinion to the end, Joe. This one's on you. Give us three facts, two of them are true, one of them's a lie. And we got to figure out which one it is.
[00:46:09] Speaker D: Okay, one, I grew up playing softball.
Two, my dad is a corrections officer.
And three, I am on the board for a non profit organization.
[00:46:31] Speaker A: Right, Joe? I know the answer.
[00:46:34] Speaker B: I'm gonna say that judging strictly by body language, when you said that your dad is a corrections officer, your eyes looked up and to the right, like this, which is a tell. That that is a lie. So I'm gonna go with number two.
[00:46:52] Speaker A: I already know if that's true.
[00:46:54] Speaker D: Huh?
[00:46:56] Speaker A: That's true.
[00:46:57] Speaker D: That's not.
[00:46:58] Speaker A: What do you mean? I know you played softball. I know you're on the board of.
[00:47:02] Speaker B: A non profit, right?
[00:47:04] Speaker D: Oh, wait, so what?
[00:47:06] Speaker A: So, yeah, number two is the lie, right?
[00:47:10] Speaker D: The lie.
[00:47:10] Speaker B: That's what I said.
[00:47:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:47:12] Speaker D: Okay.
[00:47:12] Speaker B: What are you saying?
[00:47:13] Speaker A: What you just said?
[00:47:15] Speaker B: I said she looked up into the right. So number two, right?
[00:47:20] Speaker D: Yeah. Number two is a lie.
[00:47:21] Speaker A: Your. Your choice for the lie was true.
[00:47:25] Speaker D: Yes. Yes. He said it wrong. He said it wrong.
[00:47:29] Speaker A: I'm all twisted, right?
[00:47:32] Speaker D: Number two was a lie. My dad was the one in the jail.
[00:47:38] Speaker A: He interacted with corrections officer.
[00:47:41] Speaker D: It was close.
[00:47:43] Speaker B: That couple of inches on the one side or the other makes a huge difference.
[00:47:48] Speaker D: Yes, it does.
[00:47:49] Speaker A: And you know what? Yeah, it's. It's funny. People actually. Well, that when people want to lie, a lot of times there'll be a nugget of truth in there, and that's how they get over the physical.
But, Sam, as I already knew, you're an open book, and it was a dead giveaway.
[00:48:08] Speaker D: Dang it.
[00:48:09] Speaker B: That was a tell for sure.
[00:48:11] Speaker A: It was a tell. Sam, thank you very much for hanging out with today. This is a lot of fun. I hope you'll come back on and we could keep having cool conversations about selling, about owning businesses, entrepreneurship, and leading. We didn't really get into leading today. I wanted to talk about your. Your mentorship and your leadership experiences, but hopefully you'll come back on. We'll talk about them on.
[00:48:34] Speaker B: I would love to.
[00:48:35] Speaker D: Maybe you can come on my podcast and we'll talk about it.
[00:48:38] Speaker A: Hey, I'm ready. I'm ready. We'll talk about it on and. And maybe Joe will come on too. Who knows?
[00:48:44] Speaker B: There you go.
That's it.
[00:48:46] Speaker A: Can we fit it into your schedule?
[00:48:48] Speaker B: Of course. Of course.
[00:48:50] Speaker D: Awesome.
[00:48:51] Speaker A: All right, guys, enjoy your day.
[00:48:55] Speaker C: Thanks for listening to Selling the Dream. We know you don't want to miss a single episode, so go subscribe today, wherever you get your podcasts, and then make sure to share the show with your friends and leave us a review.
